Cookbook Obscura

Carolyn Busa and the Chicken Chili

• Shannon Devido, Aubrie Williams, Ralph Andracchio • Season 2 • Episode 4

Share episode

This season's cookbook is 50 Shades of Chicken. This New York Times Best Seller is the parody cookbook you didn't know you needed, and we're here to show you some of the surprisingly good recipes from the book.

This week we're talking about thrift stores, massages, and sexy chicken monologues with our guest Carolyn Busa! Carolyn Busa is a former, horny comedian turned horny, small business owner. She owns Peak Secondhand, which relocated to Audubon, NJ in 2024 and is still very funny.

Show Links:
50 Shades of Chicken
Peak Secondhand
Peak Secondhand on IG
Peak Secondhand on FB
Carolyn on Instagram
Carolyn on the Web
Phoebe finds a thumb in her drink (Friends)

Grab the recipes on our Instagram
Watch the show on our YouTube
Connect with the show on our Facebook

Shannon:

Welcome to the show that turns obscure recipes into awesome conversation, Cookbook Obscura! Do you like Thrift stores, sexy chicken monologues and massages? Well then, your ears have landed on the right podcast. This week, the kitchen staff welcomes Carolyn Busa. Want more weird recipes in your life? Well, don't forget to hit that subscribe button and share this show with your friends. Want to see what we're eating? Oh then, check out our YouTube channel for the complete video of this episode, as well as our Instagram for behind-the-scenes recipe and clips. And now let's eat.

Ralph:

I just got back from... I flew to Detroit for a festival on Wednesday and then as soon as I flew back, Dan picked me up at the airport and we went to AC for the weekend, just for a little getaway. It was nice. We had our first spa day ever. We got professional massages. First time ever we went into like there's a hot tub and a cold tub and a medium tub . We did all that stuff and it was wonderful.

Aubrie:

Like Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Ralph:

All of them felt wonderful. It was great.

Shannon:

I was going to say which is your favorite tub?

Ralph:

The medium tub.

Ralph:

Yeah, right in the biggest one yeah, right in the middle, I'm middle of the road guy. Um, yeah, and it was... w e got to walk around in our robes all day and robes and sandals, it was nice.

Aubrie:

Nice! Did you guys both love the massage? Are you gonna like get them again?

Ralph:

I, yes, I loved it. I think my masseuse was a little rougher than his was. I think his was a little too gingerly with him. Mine, we got it... w e got it, like we didn't get a light one, there's like a fusion one, that's like again in the middle. That's like they, they, they're not as intense as like a Swedish massage, but massage but um, it's still... i t's still a little pressure, but not like intense. They're not like doing their elbow into your um. But mine was what mine was like working my muscles, and I think Dan's was just like light, too light, yeah, little baby fingers. So we're gonna make it a part of our like monthly routine, Iike once a month we're gonna go for one, because it really did like we were just a ball of energy, like nerves and like tense muscles. So it's wonderful.

Aubrie:

Yeah, there's no turning back once you get them.

Ralph:

But there's not, we're addicted now. My massuese even said you're addicted now, aren't you? I was like, yep. She said the first one's free. And I said no it wasn't. I paid a lot of money for this.

Aubrie:

Yeah, you were in Atlantic city, right so? Like is that how they do it there? They're like you're in, kid.

Ralph:

They have a trench coat full of massage packages. They have a trench coat full of massage packages. Yeah, that's what happened, but anyway, anybody, have you both, either of you, got a massage before? You have. Yes, you have.

Aubrie:

Yeah. I used to have a monthly subscription because I got a free one on Buy Nothing and they were like it was at Hand in Stone and they were like, oh, you don't have to pay the fee if you want to do it monthly. And at the time it was like 59 a month, which is still like... b ut I was like you know what I can, I'll do it for a little bit and not do it... I was like ready to quit in like two months, but then I kept it for like a year.

Ralph:

That's right. Did you do the the stone, the hot stone massages?

Aubrie:

I have done a Himalayan stone. I usually do like a Swedish, like I'll do... I like a firm pressure.

Ralph:

Yeah, I think I've got to work up to the big pressure. The medium one was fine for me. Right. Sorry, I had to go turn my pot off. It was still bubbling.

Aubrie:

Yeah, I like some of the people do. I think like one of the people were too like like dance masseuse with me, so I like went like the hardest pressure and most people were pretty good. I don't think it was actually the hardest pressure, but then like once or twice I was like hey, this is like a little too much.

Ralph:

Dial it back to a four. Do you have a preference on who your masseuse is?

Aubrie:

Um, I did... I only got a male masseuse once and he like literally was like not even touching my skin and he was talking about going to like circus school. He just kept talking. So I was like only females. I don't know why, but I was like all of the females I had before that were really good. They didn't talk, they didn't like tell me about circus school.

Ralph:

Right.

Aubrie:

So I was like you know what I'm just going to say females because like all of them have been like really good, the pressure's been good and like they haven't been asking me about like my hobbies while I'm getting a massage, so I uh yeah, I stuck with... just cause it's like a, it's like a chain and like I went to the same one. So I was like I'm gonna get that dude again.

Aubrie:

We're just gonna squash, like I'm sure he's great for some people, but I was just like I don't think this is you know what I'm, what I'm paying for.

Ralph:

Right, you need a little rougher.

Ralph:

Shannon: Ralph, when you asked that question, I thought that you were asking like if you like would only get Jennifer. I'm like do you know every massuese, like... w Well, that's such a weird question.

Ralph:

Ralph: Dan's like Brad Pitt in the background. I don't know if you do um, yeah, no, I meant like, like, uh, gender, like male or female.

Shannon:

Sure. I didn't, I, I didn't, I've not gotten massages. I did not know that's what you meant. I thought you meant like, oh, a specific person.

Ralph:

Who in your life would you like to be your masseuse?

Shannon:

I might get a massage if Brad Pitt was involved.

Ralph:

I had Paula at at ocean resort. She was fantastic, so if I can go to her again, I will. She will never hear this, I'm sure but...

Ralph:

Shannon: She's definitely listening.

Ralph:

Ralph: You know who else is listening? Our guest for today is listening. We just keep getting these big gets. The barrel is never ending. There is no end to the amount of wonderful guests we get on this show. I don't know why. Maybe it's the food, who knows? Today we have a former horny comedian who turned horny small business owner, kept the horny, which is great. She owned Peak Secondhand, which is now located in Audubon, new Jersey. She's still very funny and I'm glad she's here. Carolyn busa is here.

Ralph:

Shannon: Yay!

Ralph:

Carolyn: hi! elcome

Ralph:

Ralph: Welcome to the show ! thank.

Carolyn:

Thank you! I want to talk about Aubrie getting, just wanting to get beat up.

Carolyn:

Aubrie: Yeah.

Carolyn:

Carolyn: Getting getting right into the uh 50 shades theme . here

Carolyn:

echicken Yeah. Sexy ..

Aubrie:

You ?

Ralph:

We have to ramp it up immediately. You know, ever you ever get a professional massage. ... I w g s o t . ..... . . T

Carolyn:

Yes, only a few in my life. One was just kind of like a place I don't know, you know just like on the side of the road, you know just like on a highway, I don't know, and it was really great and kind of. I find you, I just want to like do they're not even talking, but I feel like if they were to say or do anything, I just would have been like okay, let's go. Like it's just like you get into this zone where you're like in their spell. Then, when me and my boyfriend got a couple's one which was like really someplace in philly and that was really like they really asked questions, what spots we need, what to avoid, and again I was just like. I was like, if they start making out over there, like let's go, like, it just felt like we're all about to fuck those are the best kind.

Ralph:

Yeah, I was. I've heard all these horror stories well, not all, but a lot but of people who you know. Things can get weird in massage when you're getting a massage, and so I was very. I had all that in my head rattling around when I went, but it was wonderful. It was super professional. She was very she's been doing this for almost 20 years very professional, very wonderful, like ask the right questions and it's like dancing you got it takes like 10 minutes to get out of. She was very she's been doing this for almost 20 years very professional, very wonderful, like ask the right questions and it's like dancing you got.

Carolyn:

It takes like 10 minutes to get out of your head and then you're like okay, I can, I can love right, yeah, exactly, oh, and once you relax, like I, I definitely almost fell asleep a couple times. It was just yeah it was great I always wonder that like I get that falling asleep means it's a good massage, but then I part of me would be sad.

Aubrie:

I'm not like experiencing the feels yeah because you pay for it too, like it's not cheap. It is not. I feel like I nailed it myself.

Ralph:

So, carolyn, thank you for being a guest today. And we are doing we're doing 50 Shades of Chicken, yeah, so did you enjoy the recipe that we made today?

Carolyn:

So I chose this one because it seemed the most easy. It was a lot of just dumping into a pot, which I appreciate. And, spoiler alert, I don't eat meat so I use impossible uh meat. I couldn't find like good fake chicken that would have worked well in a chili, so I want the impossible beef kind of thing. Um, and yeah, I, I've never made a chili before I and really don't like cooking, so it's just stressful. Like chopping always stresses me out, I just feel like I take two times longer than a normal chopping speed.

Carolyn:

So I just made sure to give myself enough time. But I do appreciate now that I have a big batch of food that will last for a week and that, I guess, is the beauty of cooking.

Ralph:

That will last for a week, and that, I guess, is the beauty of cooking. This is a giant tub of chili that we have and I I chop very slowly too, because, number one, I cut myself constantly. But number two, we just got new knives from Crate and Barrel that are razor sharp, like scalpel sharp, and I already took a chunk out of my finger. I didn't bleed or anything, but I just like skim the surface. It was like oh, half my nails gone, cool, I didn't even realize it's not in the chili.

Carolyn:

I checked hey, we're not eating it, I don't care. A whole finger in there didn't that happen?

Ralph:

wendy's wasn't. Did somebody find a thumb and wendy chili once?

Aubrie:

No, I thought you meant I agree. That's what I thought you meant, wendy Lenhart.

Ralph:

Oh, no, no, no no.

Aubrie:

Here, I don't.

Ralph:

I don't know what happens in your house.

Carolyn:

Yeah. Yeah, I think that was a Friends episode, but also maybe in real life too, I'm not sure I'm pretty.

Shannon:

She has to nail in a quiche.

Carolyn:

Oh the quiche oh yeah okay, I'm thinking of the seven up. I think there was a finger and phoebe's seven up can, or something.

Aubrie:

Oh, maybe I think you're correct have you guys ever found anything weird in like a chain restaurant thing or like any food like? Have you ever? I don't know, I'm curious I didn't.

Ralph:

But Dan was eating at a restaurant it was a work trip and he was eating at a table with like co-workers and he got some kind of chowder Like oh, a pot pie. He got a pot pie and he dug into it and ate it and there was a whole plastic glove Ew In the pot. Aw glove.

Aubrie:

I regret it asking that question after, like, I have one adjacent, but it's not that. After that I was like something crazy could come up.

Ralph:

I've never found anything, but his was. His was enough for both of us. Did you get a refund?

Aubrie:

or anything.

Ralph:

Oh, they paid for everybody's meal at the table. 15 people at the table, they'd comped everybody's. Well, they better for finding a rubber glove in my food they should have given you, like free food for life.

Carolyn:

I've never found something crazy. But if I am out and I accidentally like, even if it's my hair or I guess hair is probably any type of hair but like it will ruin everything for me, just very like, and then it's like I'm over, I can't eat anymore, I'm out it's only hair, but it's just something about it gets me, even if it's my own yeah, well, I get my because I have a lot of, so I'll get it every once in a while and I'll be, like the worst.

Aubrie:

Um, I need to wear a hair net while eating.

Ralph:

I I get freaked out, like sometimes lettuce or like leafy things can get the little fibers that look like hairs and I, if I feel that in my mouth I'm like, oh, no, somebody's hair and it's just lettuce, but I'm still like.

Aubrie:

I can't eat it. Then it's gross. It's yeah, yeah, my brother. Back to the question. We were out at Applebee's after like a graduation or something and we were eating just tortilla chips with like the spinach and artichoke dip and my brother took a chip and there was a staple in it but it was actually stapled like.

Aubrie:

It was actually like no, it wasn't, it was yeah, it was full metal and it was like closed on the other side, which was free, like you're like. So that's how they make them. They didn't even comp our meal. They gave like it must be common. I don't want to say anything bad about applebee's. This was a long time ago you can say they don't listen it's changed um.

Aubrie:

But yeah, they like gave us like 20 I'll have to confirm, but I think it was only a small discount now I'm just picturing like some applebee's executive stapling chips together at his desk. Like this needs to be in triplicate march I wish we had smartphones then, because, like I, we all agree that it happened, but I'm like it's still unbelievable, like I wish I had a picture just to prove that's yeah.

Ralph:

Shannon, did you ever get anything weird in your food?

Shannon:

no, I mean hair, like there's always like, like the one instance where there's like hair or like a chicken bone. There was like chicken bone and like a chicken finger once and I was like how is this even possible? This is not real chicken, so that was odd. But like other than that not really. I also don't eat that many weird foods, so I don't know.

Aubrie:

Speaking of food, should we try our chili?

Ralph:

Yes, I'm very excited.

Aubrie:

So we're making sexy chicken chili. It's just called chicken chili. I added sexy. It serves eight people. I didn't have it, but I did cut back a little bit. Sorry, this is annoying because I'm taking tinfoil Great for sound, but yeah. So we have five tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil, three pounds ground chicken, one tablespoon kosher salt. I'm just going to get to the important stuff Tomato paste, two onions, one green bell pepper. So many ingredients. A serrano or a jalapeno? Uh. One bottle dark beer, which was very interesting to me. Um. Three cups cooked pinto beans, uh. A half cup fresh cilantro, uh, two and a half tablespoons of fresh lime juice, and then sour cream and grated cheddar cheese for serving what kind of beer did you use?

Carolyn:

Oh yeah. So I had to Google, like I was at the liquor store, like what is that beer? I just went with a porter, founders porter, so I'm also drinking it, cause I feel like you got to drink the beer you put in your awesome, nice, yeah, yeah, what you do, ralph I used um, uh, what the uh, the guinness?

Ralph:

yes, I thought it would be a little too dark, but this is pretty good. I just tasted it nice what do you?

Aubrie:

agree, I used a dark german beer because wendy had band practice and I didn't have any dark beer, so I just took one of theirs and it was dark. So we'll see. We'll see how it is. It smells like beer, I'm not gonna lie. Your whole chili smells like beer a little bit.

Ralph:

It tastes like chili though well, this tastes really good, this is really good.

Carolyn:

Yeah, it's great I'm loving this I just kept like, before you guys brought me out, I just kept putting more. I was like I'll just put more cheese, I'll just keep, and I'm like keep putting more cheese on it yeah, here's.

Aubrie:

Here's what mine looks like. It doesn't. You can't really yeah.

Carolyn:

I switched it all together, so now it's nice.

Ralph:

Dan, the mashed potatoes turned out awesome.

Carolyn:

Thank you nice that's a dream combo. Mashed potatoes are my um everything. Food, like when my boyfriend makes them for me.

Ralph:

It's like but that's the definition of love for me yeah, I'm a sucker for, uh, comfort food and mashed potatoes are like the staple of any comfort meal for me yep, you can mix them in with anything you're eating and it tastes so good, but they're also on their own.

Ralph:

They're the best I made the mistake of um sampling one of the pepper the serrano pepper I put in. I was like I cut them up and I was like, oh, I wonder how? Because I like spice is spicy. But it also, uh, made my lips tingle for like half an hour after I ate it and I was like wonder what this is gonna do to chili. The chili is not spicy yeah, I cut back on.

Carolyn:

I didn't put as much chili powder as it called for. Okay, um, and I did. I think I did a jalapeno and a green pepper. And then my dad I was gonna say he he grew peppers, so I used one of his small red peppers as well.

Aubrie:

That's awesome. That's a good idea. Yeah, we encourage just kind of experimenting with these recipes.

Ralph:

I love when people experiment with the recipes, because it makes it so much better.

Carolyn:

Yeah, I was saying earlier. Someone taught me this years ago to use greek yogurt instead of sour cream. Not that I don't like sour cream, but I feel like more times I have greek yogurt in the house than sour cream yeah, you don't use sour cream for many things like.

Aubrie:

And it's just like if you buy it and open it, like, how many times are you going to use it before it expires? Got like a giant tomato in here.

Ralph:

I didn't understand putting the whole tomatoes in there. Like mine broke up a little bit, but they're still like giant chunks of tomato.

Carolyn:

How thick does yours get? I put it on half hour and it's still pretty juicy, oh no, mine's like watery.

Ralph:

Yeah, no, mine is juicy as well. I think, as it kind of sits, it'll thicken up a little bit, but it's not taking away from the pleasure of eating it, though Delicious.

Carolyn:

I got some corn chips.

Ralph:

Oh, that's a good idea. That's what's missing.

Aubrie:

I know, usually with chili I'll do like I won't use the spoon, I'll just use straight tortilla chips and eat the whole thing.

Ralph:

That's a good idea.

Carolyn:

Are chips? Are there foods that you can use as?

Ralph:

utensils Just watch for staples.

Aubrie:

Yeah, yeah, we never had that problem with Tostitos, only apple chips.

Shannon:

Or like those Fritos scoops. Those are pretty rad.

Aubrie:

Oh, they're the best. Yeah, because they really get it it's a bowl and they're like real. Yeah, because they really get it it's a bowl and they're like real thick, so it's like a good utensil food yeah, yeah, the only other like, I guess, vegetables in a way like if you're dipping a carrot into like dipper hummus or like celery, because it has a little oh yeah what else you need more food.

Carolyn:

That are utensils.

Aubrie:

Yeah Well, if you eat Fun Dip, they have that little sugar thing. I used to love that as a kid. That's a utensil.

Ralph:

That's right. I used to live off that stuff.

Aubrie:

Yeah, real healthy.

Ralph:

That's probably why my brain didn't form correctly and I ended up in comedy.

Carolyn:

I saw now LA but former Philly comedian Nicole Yates post a pierogies that's almost like Dunkaroos Little packs of pierogies with dipping sauce. I'm like I gotta get that.

Shannon:

It's the future.

Aubrie:

That's amazing.

Ralph:

Carolyn, how are you with time management? Because I'm always. I always feel like when we do one of these episodes, I'm rushing at the end to get stuff done and I was like I gave myself five hours, I'm going to be great and all of a sudden it's 630. And I'm like what, what? I'm not done yet.

Carolyn:

Yeah, I'm terrible I said terrible with cooking and time management. Um, fortunately, just the onion chopping. I made sure to like get all that stuff done and like get them in bowls so I could fuck around until like I had to cook and then you just kind of dumping it all in. But in general, not not great with that stuff I I always try to in in life too, I'm like I always try to, and in life too I'm like I always like skip over, try. The process gets like muddled and I just want to get to the end and it's a real learning journey for me to enjoy the process and just be in the moment. So with cooking, that can really make or break a meal or break a meal.

Ralph:

I always try to give myself enough time because cooking is like this zen place Dan's laughing in the background. I like it because it's like you get to lay all the stuff out and you get to make this wonderful thing that everybody can enjoy. It's fun for me. When I rush I feel like I've failed in some way. I of like.

Carolyn:

I don't want to rush through it. I don't know how to cook in that like beautiful, like slow motion, like Kristen, like uh, bread made making a cupcake way, like like, and I just want to get to that place because, yeah, from what I hear, cooking can be, but it's never like that for me.

Ralph:

Never.

Aubrie:

I know it always stresses me out a little bit, even though I want it to be meditative.

Ralph:

So would you um would you like to tell us about your new um business endeavor, cause I thought that was interesting.

Carolyn:

It was an interesting shift and I'm curious where that came from yeah, over the pandemic, um, you know, everyone stopped doing comedy, including me, and I kind of liked it and then I was like what does that mean?

Carolyn:

um and uh just kind of shifted into thinking of maybe opening a small business. While I was home, one of my favorite thrift stores closed and I was like, well, I guess I should open one now, and then just kind of did it and winging it. No, nothing about business owning. Had that store for three years and now I just recently bought a place so we're moving the store to Audubon, a little bigger location. So it's very exciting and it kind of connects to my comedy life. It's called Peak Secondhand and a lot of my comedy was about sexually peaking and feeling your best self and feeling good in your body and your mind, and so it kind of plays into how I want people to feel when they enter the store. And just, you know, enjoy the atmosphere, enjoy the clothes, feel good, have a good time and yeah, well that's awesome how do you find your stuff that you sell in the store?

Carolyn:

I do my own sourcing, whether it's's like yard sales, estate sales, you know people, someone needs a cool pair of shoes on a stoop, you know. But and then I, a lot of people have donated since I've opened, which is really great and because they find my store to be kind of a safe haven for their like special stuff that they're not ready to just like give to a goodwill. So you know something that they're you know just like give to a goodwill. So you know something that they're you know don't want to just see get thrown in a shelf. They want they get, they give to me and I get to give them another happy home. Um, so the plan with having this new, bigger space is so I can do, uh, my own. I want to do more of that like hunt, that like I want to be out like searching for the great finds. And I still appreciate when people donate and it's amazing they do. But I really want to be more, make more of an effort to find that, find that stuff, you know, just go hunting.

Ralph:

Would, you ever sorry would you ever sorry, I'm sorry, did. Would you ever create your own stuff, or do you? Would you always your your happy place finding things and selling them?

Carolyn:

yeah, I wish I could. I uh similar to cooking. I don't can't sew and um wish I could, but it's, it's just used secondhand stuff.

Aubrie:

It's important too, like you know, buying like used clothes because, like, the world is not in a great place.

Carolyn:

Yeah, it's interesting the people who donate. Sometimes it's just bags of stuff with tags on them and it's just. It kind of is a little eye opening of how much stuff we all have and, uh, yeah, a little, a little overwhelming at times well, I I think we've.

Ralph:

We've grown up I think everybody's at this point, no matter what age you are. We've grown up in a in a world where you don't really we're trained to not hold onto things, like if something breaks we just throw it out. We don't, we don't get attached to stuff, we don't fix it, we don't try to like care for it. It's just oh, there's a, you know, there's a hole in my shirt. I'm going to, you can keep it. But we don't think that way and I'm trying to get myself in that kind of headspace of if there's something I own that I really love and it breaks or it gets a hole in it, I want to learn how to try to fix it. Or like go to somebody who can fix it and support a local business and like make a new friend who can help me fix other things and like it's a relationship building thing too. Make a new friend who can help me fix other things and like it's a relationship building thing too.

Carolyn:

Yeah, I, I, I want to get to a maybe like a sewing class or something, just to learn how to do basic stuff. Like that it's I. I will use my stuff down to, like you know, bare bones, usually with like big stuff, like electronics and stuff I really try to use today like just explode in my hands. So I'm holding out my phones like on its last leg and I'm like waiting for the new phone to come out, because I refuse to do it any time earlier than that. I just want to hold out as long as I can.

Shannon:

Ralph, what I heard you say is that you are not a hoarder.

Ralph:

I am not.

Shannon:

I have not been trained to throw anything out. My family is very good at that, but I am the opposite and I'm like, but I might need this one day. And then I have no idea why I have like a napkin that I used at a baseball game I went to three years ago. I don't know, I need it, could need it.

Carolyn:

What are some other weird things you've kept, Shannon? Oh you probably ever.

Shannon:

I had um like every badge from like every comedy, like festival and stuff I've gone to. Um I don't know if that's weird, but like I definitely have all of those, they're back there. Um, I don't know, I I just have I have like these, like I have rubber ducks that like I used to collect and like they're all around my house because I refused, like I was like I don't really into it for a while, and so people would give them to me and I have like a billion of them. I don't know what to do with them. All my old shirts from when I used to work at Apple. We got like a new one every time like something new came out. So I have like every version of every shirt I ever had. I'm like I might need it.

Aubrie:

Do you ever find that like for comedy that you hold on to stuff? Cause I do that sometimes All the time I have a bucket.

Shannon:

I'm like I don't know I can put it in a sketch. I haven't done sketch comedy on stage in like at least five years, but I still have this freaking bucket of stuff. I'm like I don't know, I might need this pie that I sewed together for a sketch once hi, we're an interesting breed, us comedians. So dumb, so dumb. I'm gonna bring my bucket to your store, carolyn yeah, I have my bucket to donate. Yeah, my bucket is my bucket of sketch things. You want to sell these?

Aubrie:

yeah, I know I still have a bunch of like old peasant nightgowns from like a mani paddy sketch wow bonnets. They feel like they're so like nondescript and could be used for stuff that I'm like. I'll keep these, but I have gotten rid of most of my stuff. Not all of it, not all of it. No, I need to get better at that.

Shannon:

That means that is, this is therapy, guys. So I've been trying.

Carolyn:

My intervention, I, I like your napkin reminded me, shannon, that like I, I've been trying to this year and I'm failing miserably. But I want it to like keep something from every day, like that's physical, and make a little like just nothing like nothing crazy scrapbook, just kind of just like put it on a page and write the date, Um and so that napkin I'm like we'll put it in your, put it in your scrapbook, in your scrapbook.

Shannon:

Oh, don't get, no, don't give me ideas. Yeah yeah give me ideas for saving random shit that I do not need.

Carolyn:

Yours actually sounds delightful yeah, but I've been forgetting most days. So I'll be like, okay, like what? And I'll just like grab it'll be like a receipt from CVS. I'm like, okay, this is. This isn't how I remember this day.

Shannon:

I love it. I have this. I like this vision of you having just like your scrapbook at the end of the year is like every other page is just a cbs receipt yeah, absolutely, and it's like 35 feet long.

Aubrie:

You can't fit. It rolls out, this is like your tiny book and then like a tail, like 25 tails.

Carolyn:

Yeah, I should have kept something from making this chili. Actually, maybe I'll take the cap from the beer and like tape that in fun.

Aubrie:

Yeah, I was like don't put like any of the fake meat or any cilantro I almost forgot shannon.

Ralph:

Uh, while we're eating, or we're maybe almost done, but do you want to read the story that went along with this recipe?

Shannon:

Oh, yes, okay. So for those of you who are just tuning into our podcast, every week I do not cook because I'm the worst cook in America and I might kill myself, but I am a mediocre actor. Might kill myself, so, but I am a mediocre actor, so every every recipe has a a story that precedes the recipe. Uh, I have not seen this story before today. Ralph has sent it to me right before the podcast. Uh is very sexy story. Uh, I apologize in advance. Um, this story is called Learning to Trust you, t-r-u-s-s.

Carolyn:

I don't know what that means.

Shannon:

I'm excited to find out.

Ralph:

Oh, that's a thing?

Shannon:

Okay, great, here we go, trust me. He whispers. Yes, it's not entirely true. My pulse starts to race. Good girl, do you have any ideas of what I'm about to do to you? He asks, caressing my raised breast with a coil of 16-ply twine. The touch of the natural filament is shockingly sensual. The deepest, darkest parts of me clench in the most delicious fashion. No, I breathe. No, what he asks? Menacing no, chef. He takes a tangerine and easily, eases it slowly, slowly into my orifice until it's buried in me.

Aubrie:

Oh, the fullness.

Shannon:

Okay. His deft fingers draw a length of twine from the coil. Adrenaline spikes through me like a carving fork. He ties my ankles together tightly. The twine is tight, but not so tight that it bites into my skin. I feel restrained, but strangely free. An electric charge thrills up dangerously at my spine. You have a captivating, perfect tail, miss Hen. He says how I will enjoy biting it. Oh my. He inserts me into the wolf and my flesh succumbs to it. The rushing waves of heat. Juices flow in torrents inside of me as my donus I think it's a word, uh, donus builds, engorging me down there and everywhere else. I've never felt so ready, so evenly, so dreamily ready. He pulls me out of the oven, no-transcript what was that story?

Carolyn:

I did not know. This was like going to be from like the foods perspective is going on it's a journey it is a journey it's a choice.

Aubrie:

Oh no, there's a.

Shannon:

It was too hot, the fire, the fire trucks here too hot, the fire, the fire trucks here, right on time. I just I need to know, I need we have to find the author of this book because I want to know, like, what the choice was to always have it be from the like, the food's perspective? Yeah, like it's uh, it's oh's.

Carolyn:

It's related to the like connected to the book, or it's just someone completely like, not related to Fifty Shades, just wrote this.

Ralph:

It's FL Fowler, which I'm sure is a made up name. It's a nom de plume, but I think it's just a parody of the movie, and so they came up with a really weird story for every single recipe in the book.

Shannon:

Wow, chili's not good for fucking, though, yeah no, no, well, they didn't mention chili in this one, it's just chicken, but like. But like. That means that this person is fucking a chicken, like. That is what this story is about.

Aubrie:

Yeah, no that's right there. That's why they're under a, under a false name.

Ralph:

You know I feel like I need to make a disclaimer here. Uh, cookbook obscure does not condone or advocate anybody fucking chickens. Please do not do that, even if they're dead, do not, don't put your especially your appendages on anything yeah yeah, yeah yeah no, not especially, just in general, don't just in general

Aubrie:

yeah, this is a new york times bestseller. We don't know from that story alone.

Carolyn:

I want to like what I make love. Now I want to yell oh the fullness yes, what a sexy phrase.

Shannon:

You know what a sexy phrase oh the fullness. I would like to also point out oh the fullness is in italicized oh nice, maybe it's thought, not said no, I think they just like it's overly emotional, which I apologize. I did not give a solid performance on that line.

Aubrie:

You don't win an.

Shannon:

Oscar.

Carolyn:

One day.

Shannon:

One day. This is my new monologue I'm gonna work on in acting class next week, so you're gonna win a potty for that one. I am gonna bring my yeah, I'm gonna bring, uh, yeah, props, bring props. It's really, it's really a prop for Kevvie. Oh, my Anyway so that was our story of the week. That was cool One day. Here's the thing I want to say every week. I'm always like I threw up in my mouth, and it's not because I don't want to yuck anyone's yums, unless you're fucking chicken, and then no.

Ralph:

You're asking for it.

Shannon:

I just I uh a prude, and so I I have never had to say these words like this out loud um, and I am stretching my uh skill set. Yeah, anyway, I promise I will not say I'm gonna next week. That's my new mission is. I will not say I threw up in my mouth, I'm just going to say that made me feel things and that's what it should do.

Ralph:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Aubrie:

I was going to say. That's interpreted. That leaves room for interpretation, so be mindful of that.

Shannon:

There you go Four to four is performance. Yeah, yeah.

Ralph:

I don't think anybody should say orifice, no matter what.

Aubrie:

No, yeah, performance, yeah, yeah.

Carolyn:

And I, I don't think anybody should say orifice no matter what, at any time. Yeah, yeah, the choices are like, dare I say, not sexy. You know what makes sense? It's the food. I was very concerned that this lover was referring to the hole as the orifice, and I was very concerned but, glad to know it was chicken instead just stuffing a chicken.

Carolyn:

Yeah, just you know, stuffing a chicken this reminds me I used to write um little stories about sex toys that were from the sex toy perspective, which I think is a lot cuter and sexier than chicken yeah um, but yeah, I think I think a little toy story. You know I was kind of going for a toy story perspective and that can be cute.

Aubrie:

But yeah, chicken fucking that I think when we release your episode, we might, if you're comfortable, we might have to. Uh, if you want to share one, we might have to yeah, there's, they're so fun to write.

Carolyn:

I I sorry I stopped doing them, but yeah uh, there's clearly a market for it.

Shannon:

If this was a bestseller. Yours could be like bestseller. Yeah, way better, because it's a much less weird idea.

Ralph:

Well, it's actually a good like. There should be more avenues for people to explore their sexuality, because I know people who are very turned on by erotica and like written stories and not necessarily watching videos or looking at pictures or anything, so it's rule 34.

Carolyn:

If it exists, there's porn, that exists for it yeah, someone, someone's out there looking someone's out there for it I also, for a brief moment during the pandemic, did this like freelance job where I was writing for an app that was like kind of a choose your own adventure, sexual thing, um, and so you had to write like a tame version, like a okay, you know, medium, and then like hardcore version and then also like the version where, like, they just want to get out and it's over, and so that was an interesting, fun challenge to do all the perspectives yeah.

Aubrie:

How did you find that job? Did someone come to you or did you like?

Carolyn:

Oh, you know it was one of those. You know you get an email about 500 jobs that are available and hope that maybe you get one.

Aubrie:

OK nice.

Ralph:

Well, speaking of interviews and questions, Aubrey we have. I think it's time for our lightning round, yeah.

Aubrie:

Yeah, our world famous questionnaire, sexy version. It's time for our lightning round. Yeah, yeah, our world famous questionnaire um sexy version. Um, carolyn, what do you think is the sexiest food besides chicken?

Carolyn:

because we, we all know, oh true um, well, I don't eat it, so I know I respect it.

Carolyn:

Um, I think so every time I eat a shroom burger from Shake Shack, I I feel what I think was going on in that story. I like feel things when I eat that it's like the you've had it, like the mushroom kind of explodes in your mouth and cheese comes out of it and, uh, it's one of these foods that I cannot stop myself from like saying like a fucking, like tv show, like it just comes out naturally. Um, so that's, that's one of them. And, um, and I, I'm learning to, I, I in my, I moved and I have a peach tree in my art and I'm so I'm starting to really respect the sexiness of peaches now as well, which is a pretty obvious sexy, but now that I'm seeing it grow up front and it's pretty hot I am a big advocate for people to make noises when they eat, because I I do, especially if like a food's good or dan makes fun of me, because sometimes when I cook I'm like oh god it's good.

Ralph:

Like I get high on my own supply and he's like you, you cooked it. Of course, you know, relax, but I I think that's nice. Like I want people to enjoy food more, you know. And like I think that's why we do this show is like helping people to like, yeah, you know, find stuff you like, eat food, enjoy it, it's fun. You know, it shouldn't just be like I'm shoveling stuff into my mouth for fuel to so I can get to the next.

Carolyn:

Like yeah, I could never be with someone who doesn't get excited about eating food or like if you like, eat like the soylent or whatever stuff, just to get sustenance. I don't know how that would work.

Ralph:

No, yeah, no, um, all right. Question two uh, if you had to have a food baby, what food would the father be?

Carolyn:

OK, so I was thinking about this and I feel like I have two answers, because there's a version of like things got sloppy I accidentally got pregnant with this food versus like the purposefully like planned baby would have. Planned baby would have.

Ralph:

I love it and so my, my sloppy daddy would be the spicy potato tacos from Taco Bell.

Carolyn:

Oh yeah, they're, uh, my kind of just. I hate guilt, not guilty pleasure. It's just, you know, you're feeling a little like oh okay so that would be daddy number one, and then full-on love affair. Having a family would be pizza, because pizzas I love her.

Ralph:

Yeah, yeah stable, stable parent white plain.

Carolyn:

Uh, not, not sorry, not white pizza, just plain cheese pizza.

Ralph:

Yeah, yeah stable parent, yeah traditional childbirth.

Aubrie:

I like it. No drugs, no drugs that's so good.

Shannon:

That's amazing. Um, okay, who is the sexiest food mascot?

Carolyn:

um, I I don't think she has a name, but the sun made raisin girl Like. Does it have to be food or can it be a human that represents food?

Ralph:

No, as long as it's a logo, mascot, whatever.

Carolyn:

I think it's sun made raisin girl. It was pretty cute. And then I don't know if this counts either, because it's candy, but I would bang Willy Wonka very, very easily, definitely counts.

Shannon:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, candy is food.

Ralph:

Rich, eccentric. Yeah, love it 100%.

Aubrie:

All the candy you never want you know, Carolyn? What would your sexy cookbook be called, and why? Oh?

Carolyn:

uh, I think it would be carolyn over easy uh 69 recipes to get her runny.

Shannon:

Yes, that's amazing.

Aubrie:

If you don't create that cookbook within the, we will. We don't have money, but we will find a way to fund you.

Carolyn:

It's just all meals that like ooze.

Ralph:

I threw up in my mouth a little bit. But also, if you get it done soon, we can, we could cover it. That could be our next season, it's just that meals.

Aubrie:

That ooze, what a task. Yeah, yeah, no great answer all right, uh.

Ralph:

And finally, the game that everybody loves to play with their food fuck, marry, kill. Uh, which. Which one would be? Which french onion dip, gummy worms or egg salad?

Carolyn:

okay, I'm a creep, an egg salad I'm marrying yes, I agree with that love an egg salad.

Aubrie:

No shame there.

Carolyn:

No shame, it's a very like polarizing food egg salad yeah, you're right, I'm on, I'm on your team and wawa doesn't serve it anymore, which is very sad. That was one of my favorite egg salad meals they used to serve egg salad yeah, I used to get the sandwich there and it was extra.

Aubrie:

Like everything has the highest sodium, but this egg salad had like an insane amount, like you could tell.

Carolyn:

Yeah, that's and then I would kill gummy worms because you might have gelatin in them, which I do eat, but try not to eat yeah, respect. And then, I'd fuck Spanish dip or Chinese dip yeah oh, that's rough. Okay, I mean, I stand by it.

Ralph:

But I agree, I'm not a fan of gummy worms either, and so I would.

Aubrie:

I would definitely kill them too, yeah yeah, I never grab like I'll eat them. If they're in like sketch rehearsals, everyone would bring a bag of gummies, so like I'd eat them there. That's the only place like never in the mood for them.

Ralph:

If it's one of those big like they sell the giant king size ones that you can actually cradle like a baby and just eat it. Like that I would eat the gummies?

Aubrie:

Yeah, like the five pound gummy bear yeah.

Ralph:

That I would eat just because it's weird, but for the visual shock of it. But yeah, not the visual shock of it, but yeah, not, not the little one.

Carolyn:

Yeah, I find the candy stores that have the little you know bins and, like you know, the gummy where everything's in the little containers you gotta scoop your own candy. They always seem very appealing, um, but everything always ends up just tasting like the same thing.

Ralph:

I feel like in those and oh, it's slightly speaking of gummy bears, I will say chocolate covered gummy bears right from the freezer is one of the best things I've ever had.

Shannon:

Okay.

Ralph:

So just on a summer day, if you're hot, you want a little treat. If you can find some chocolate covered gummy bears, put them in the freezer for a little while. It's very good.

Shannon:

Or every candy is better in the freezer. I guess. Yeah.

Aubrie:

Yeah, I've had chocolate covered gummy bears, but I've never put them in the freezer, I guess. Yeah, I've had chocolate-covered gummy bears, but I've never put them in the freezer, so noted.

Ralph:

I will advocate till I die.

Aubrie:

Thank you Till I die your mission, that's my mission in life.

Ralph:

I've put it on my gravestone he loved chocolate-covered gummy bears.

Aubrie:

If they were in the freezer.

Ralph:

Only if they were in the freezer, if they were in freedom. Uh, we are careening towards the end of our show today. Uh, this has been a lot of fun. See, I told you it goes quick. I feel like we just started talking like five minutes ago. This was awesome. Um, anything, you would like to plug that? You would like people to know, next thing you're doing, how they can find your store, how they can find you online. What do you got?

Carolyn:

oh yeah, follow my store, which is at peak second hand, on instagram and facebook and tiktok, which is not updated frequently. Um, and I don't know when this comes out, but I'll be performing in another bomb, bomb, bombshell performance with miss a Aubrey on September 13th, which is also her birthday.

Aubrie:

Yes, this might come out after, but it's fine, we'll do it again we can cut that. Yeah, we're keeping it in. It's a time capsule. Put it in the scrapbook. Yeah, it has been so much fun doing sketch comedy with you, carolyn, too, because you've been like you and Allison have been like heroes. It's been really cool to just like go back into that scene, so yeah, it's chaos, but it's fun.

Ralph:

All right, this is awesome. I feel like I always sign off. I want to see Aubrey or Shannon do. Either of you want to sign off for this episode?

Shannon:

No you're very good at it.

Aubrie:

I mean, yeah, I guess I, yeah, I'll sign off. So, uh, this has been a pleasure, uh, cooking and eating with you, carolyn, and uh, thank you for tuning in to Cookbook Obscura and, as always, please eat responsibly.

Ralph:

Yay, good night everybody, bye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Aubrie Williams

Host
Head Shot

Ralph Andracchio

Host
Head Shot

Shannon DeVido

Host