Cookbook Obscura

S02E06 - Noah Levine and the Chicken Breast Strips

• Shannon Devido, Aubrie Williams, Ralph Andracchio • Season 2 • Episode 5

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This season's cookbook is 50 Shades of Chicken. This New York Times Best Seller is the parody cookbook you didn't know you needed, and we're here to show you some of the surprisingly good recipes from the book.

This week we're talking about Taylor Swift drag shows, keeping kosher, coping with politics, alien invasions, Lion King notaries, and Julia Child as the other woman with the very funny Noah Levine. Noah is a theater artist, improviser, and podcast host based in Philly. His shows include Noah's No-Show Show, The N Crowd, The Talkin' 2024 podcast, and Dying Message: The Detective Anime Mystery Podcast. He would marry stuffing if he could. 

Show Links:

50 Shades of Chicken

Lamda Legal (LGBTQ+ legal resource)

Talkin' 2024 Podcast

Dying Message: The Detective Anime Mystery Podcast

Noah on Instagram

Grab the recipes on our Instagram
Watch the show on our YouTube
Connect with the show on our Facebook

Ralph:

It's Cookbook Obscura. This show is all about finding an odd recipe, grabbing an odd friend, and eating odd food together. This week, our guest is Noah Levine. Noah is a theater artist, improviser, and podcast host based in Philly. His shows include Noah's No Show Show, The N Crowd, The Talkin' 2024 Podcast, and Dying Message, the Detective Anime Mystery Podcast. So, um... Aubrie, you will be very proud of me because over the weekend, I went to a drag Taylor Swift brunch.

Aubrie:

Oh my God, that's amazing. Where was it?

Ralph:

At City Winery.

Aubrie:

Oh, nice.

Ralph:

Yeah, it was impressive. Four, count them, four drag queens, all different versions of Taylor Swift. It was an hour and a half of music. I don't know the lyrics too, but everybody else was having a lot of fun. People were dressed as different tailors. The only one I recognized was the one where she was wearing like a tie-dye t-shirt and like glasses. Oh,

Aubrie:

Maybe lover, like you need to calm down? I don't know.

Ralph:

I don't know. I don't know. I'm... woefully unprepared for Taylor. But it was fun. It was a lot. Everybody was into it. I gave a lot of ones to the Queens and they really enjoyed it. So.

Aubrie:

That's amazing.

Shannon:

Did you get 13 ones? Oh yeah. 13 ones. That's

Ralph:

I didn't. I only had 10. Why? Should I have given three more?

Aubrie:

That's her lucky number and her birthday. Also. What? Sisters are huge Taylor fans. So I know. Oh, wait. Sorry, we're having some sound issues here. Hold, please. So what I was saying, so Taylor's, I don't know what just happened, but. Oh no, one of the cats escaped. This is the most chaotic opening. Oh no. They're all in, right? Cool. Which cat? Hootie, Maya. Who do you think? We just saw Dorito, so I don't think it's him. Yeah. She often is right by the door, but she's never made a move. So, but yes, Taylor's lucky number is 13. When you go to a concert, you like paint a 13 on your hand. That's the, that's.

Ralph:

That sounds like a cult to me.

Aubrie:

It's a cult, but like a fun one. It is a cult. It's like a fun, cool cult.

Ralph:

That's what they all say.

Aubrie:

Very easy listening cult.

Ralph:

Sure. Music's better than most cults, I will say.

Aubrie:

Very plaid, very chill.

Ralph:

And one of the queens, the host made up the lyrics to, look what you made me do. Look what you made me do. It was about how she eats cheese, but it doesn't work well for her. So it was like, I think I have to poop. I think I have, and it was a whole song about her eating cheese and not making it to the bathroom in time. It was great.

Aubrie:

Oh my God.

Ralph:

Swifties were into it. Super relatable. Yeah. Super relatable.

Aubrie:

That's amazing. I think I saw that advertised. I wish I would have known you were going. I want to...

Ralph:

It was a last minute thing. We, on Thanksgiving, my brother and sister-in-law and their neighbors were like, oh, we're going to this thing. You guys should go. And we're like, okay, great. And like literally bought the tickets at that second. So it was two days later that we went.

Aubrie:

Nice.

Ralph:

It was great.

Aubrie:

I loved it. Shan, have you seen any shows of late? Have you seen any like... I haven't seen any drag shows of late. I miss them. What was my last? I went to a Harry Potter themed one once. That was really fun. Yeah. It was very fun.

Shannon:

I don't think I've ever been to one.

Aubrie:

No?

Shannon:

They look very fun.

Aubrie:

Yeah, we gotta go.

Shannon:

We don't have any in Bucks County. Yeah, that's not

Ralph:

Drag center of the world, Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

Aubrie:

You heard it here first.

Shannon:

You heard it here first.

Ralph:

Breaking news on the Cookbook Obscura podcast.

Aubrie:

They have a drag brunch at the Panera in the shopping center.

Shannon:

In Feasterville.

Ralph:

Feasterville, the epicenter.

Shannon:

The epicenter of drag brunches and Paneras.

Ralph:

Speaking of LGBTQ plus.

Aubrie:

That's what all the good words say.

Ralph:

Speaking of LGBTQ plus... Our guest today, not a drag queen, I don't think, but he's patiently waiting in the wings. Oh, let me introduce him for realsies, because I have his bio up and running. Another big get for the holidays, folks. Just so you know, we're batting 1,000 on the show. He's a theater artist, an improviser, podcast host. He has a couple podcasts. One of them, I was on the Talkin' 2024 podcast, which we're going to get into. Also, Dying Message, the detective anime mystery podcast I was also on. It was a lot of fun. And now he is on our show. Please give a warm... Internet, welcome to Noah Levine. Noah!

Aubrie:

Hello, Noah! Thank you!

Noah:

Thanks for having me. Yeah, it is. I got your name wrong when you were on my podcast. It's the ethnic names. Yeah. Oh my gosh. How are you doing? I'm doing well. Oh my goodness. We're in the December season. The holidays are so close that why not be already here? Right. Thanksgiving happened just five days ago. Yes, it was. Oh, my God. Feels like yesterday. Yeah, yeah. And I cooked chicken for maybe the first time in my life.

Aubrie:

Whoa.

Noah:

I don't know if I've ever cooked it before.

Ralph:

You just eat it raw, usually.

Noah:

No, no, no. I've just, you know, been around other people that have done the cooking of the chicken. I've cooked many other things. Are you averse to chicken or you just haven't cooked it? So we don't eat a lot of meat. I grew up keeping kosher and I still keep some degree of kosher. So I sought out kosher chicken for this dish. And most of the time we just do vegetarian fish cooking. So I've cooked fish. I've cooked vegetables. I've cooked soy proteins, seitan

Aubrie:

Ooh, nice.

Ralph:

But never chicken.

Aubrie:

Thank you for doing it for us.

Noah:

Yeah.

Aubrie:

Sorry.

Noah:

Well, when you have a cookbook where every recipe is chicken, the alternative is what? To not be sexy?

Aubrie:

Yeah, yeah.

Shannon:

That's not an alternative.

Ralph:

That's not the alternative.

Speaker 01:

You can use any alternative you want, though.

Ralph:

So forgive my lack of knowledge, but this is what the show is here for, for learning. So when you keep kosher, I thought that just meant for red meat. That means any meat and dairy. Y

Noah:

Yea h, so meat includes red meat and chicken, quail meat. Duck, goose, other poultries.

Ralph:

All right, that's way too fancy for the show.

Noah:

Yeah, so it is strange because you can't have a chicken parmesan, and yet the literal verse in the Bible that all of this is derived from is about boiling a kid in its mother's milk, and eggs do not produce milk nor cheese, or chickens don't produce milk or cheese, but... Yeah. Meat came to be, chicken came to be regarded as meat and now, yeah, no chicken parms.

Ralph:

Now we're all paying for it. What about fish? Does that count?

Noah:

Oh boy. No, but sort of, sometimes.

Ralph:

I didn't mean to open up a can of worms, sorry.

Shannon:

Sometimes?

Noah:

No, traditionally you're supposed to keep the meat separate from the fish. Like people follow more or less of these rules depending on how observant they are. Yeah. but no fish you can have with dairy and meat you can't. So fish is not meat.

Ralph:

Okay.

Shannon:

So can you have fish parmesan?

Noah:

Sure.

Shannon:

I'm just saying, try it. Yeah.

Noah:

I have put cheese on a salmon burger and that worked.

Shannon:

Same thing.

Aubrie:

Nice. So yeah, basically salmon parmesan.

Shannon:

It's exactly the same. There's a reason I'm not allowed to cook,

Noah:

I think people go to eggplant parmesan before they start parmesan-ing up the salmon or the tuna.

Aubrie:

Fair.

Noah:

One thing I do enjoy when I was having them was McDonald's makes a really great filet of fish and that has cheese on it. So yeah, I'm a sucker for a good filet of fish. Yeah, we would go to McDonald's and like a family of five getting five Filet-O-Fish sandwiches.

Aubrie:

That's amazing.

Ralph:

No shame in any of that.

Aubrie:

I've never had one, weirdly.

Shannon:

Not even on Lent?

Aubrie:

No, we just had pizza in my family. That's our go to.

Ralph:

That's nice. Yeah. So going back to your bio, Talkin' 2024 is your ongoing, as of this recording, your ongoing year-long podcast, which I thought you were insane for trying, but it was a lot of fun to be a part of. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about the concept and the execution of said podcast?

Noah:

Yeah, so I am... motivated to do lots of strange things, and I like marathons, and I like calendars? So the idea that I developed and was really excited about was to record a whole year's worth of podcasts in a row. and figuring out and having them released like one week at a time throughout the whole year. And as I figured out, wanted to figure out what to do with that, it's like, well, for releasing them one week of the year, why don't we just talk about what's happening that week? And then what happens is you're recording all of them over three days in November for an entire year, but you have no way of knowing what's going to be happening that year. Our political commentary was very vague. which I think was helpful because it was better than listening to actual political commentary on things that were actually occurring. And we talked about some movies that got released and we talked about some movies that may never get made that were supposed to be released this year. Um, and yeah, it was three days in a row, like morning till night, 53 different guests. Ralph was number three. So his episode came out in January and we have four episodes left to release. So I, you can tell that like my brain is working differently than it was 49 episodes ago. Um, so it's a really, it's really fun time to kind of tune in hear what's happening that week we think, meet a new person and hang out and chat and, uh, Yeah, a lot of people that came by that helped. Each season, there was a different co-host that came for 13 episodes. So they all brought their own segment and their own personality and kind of filled in for me when I was like, what it... What page are we on? What day is it?

Ralph:

What page of the calendar? Yeah, I was third. So I was there when you were all fresh faced and excited about what would come. So I'm glad I was there for that and not the tail end where everybody was dragging themselves to the microphone. My episode was like the week of January 14th, I think. So it was like, we talked about the Emmys a lot and all that other stuff because they happen around that.

Noah:

Your anniversary.

Ralph:

My anniversary. That's right. That happened that week. That was nice. What else? Oh, yeah. what the week of the election that just passed. Oh my God. We're not going to, we're not going to go too deep into that, but was there, was there any, did you have any predictions that came true from that week?

Noah:

I always forgot to like nail people down on predictions. Sometimes we try to predict the weather. So, I mean, we, we were like Biden and Trump, who's going to win, who's going to win between Biden and Trump. Oh, that's right. It was, this was, you know, November 26th when we recorded the episode and, you know mostly just how do you cope with politics and you know that sort of thing did we predict anything no I think the biggest thing I predicted was that occasionally I would refuse to be certain about anything and so I was like well we don't know who's going to win the primary we don't know what's going to be happening because a year ago we were so certain already about what was going to happen but that's not fun.

Ralph:

No, it is not. Speaking of predictions, there was a prediction online, mainly on TikTok, because that's where I live right now. But there was a prediction that today, December 3rd, when we were recording this, there was supposed to be this giant alien sky battle. I don't know if anybody else heard of this. This guy made a prediction that there was supposed to be this giant alien, not invasion, but some big pitched battle was supposed to happen over the skies of the United States. And I mean, there's still time, it's only 7.30, but you know, I don't know. How do you feel about aliens and wanting them to have a battle over the United States?

Noah:

I think it would be interesting to know about aliens, but we have everything to fear and nothing to gain. I don't know if that's true. That sounds like a phrase someone has said.

Ralph:

I think, wasn't it nothing to fear and everything to gain? Well, I mean, either way it works for aliens.

Noah:

But yeah, you just hope that they're like the tiny kind or really nice, that they have a cookbook of 50 chicken recipes and not a cookbook of human recipes.

Aubrie:

Yeah. I hope they're the pizza planet aliens personally, but that's just me. They're tiny and nice. That's why I kind of wanted to, you know.

Ralph:

Absolutely. Yeah,

Aubrie:

They could be cool.

Ralph:

And also, well, these aliens are coming from the ocean. So they're not technically aliens. They're earthlings. I don't know. We could do a whole podcast about it.

Shannon:

Ralph, what are you watching?

Aubrie:

We changed our podcast. You heard it here first. Ocean aliens. The ocean alien saga.

Shannon:

Are you sure you just weren't watching Aquaman?

Ralph Andracchio:

Maybe.

Aubrie:

Might just be Aquaman.

Ralph:

Maybe. Not to step on any DC toes, DC comics, but Aquaman, especially the second one, no, I don't recommend it. Thumbs down. Not great.

Shannon:

No, it's not.

Ralph:

Jason Momoa, always wonderful.

Shannon:

Absolutely.

Ralph:

But, you know, no.

Shannon:

There's been better... movies.

Noah:

Better movies about um people swimming in the sea probably.

Aubrie:

Yeah what was the way there was one with like Jodie Foster where she's a coach it's called like ne...

Ralph:

Oh uh uh Nyad.

Aubrie:

Oh yeah I know that yes it's not like it's not like a comic book movie but that's the only movie I could think of that had a person swimming.

Ralph:

Right.

Shannon:

I mean not Splash Or the Little Mermaid.

Aubrie:

Oh, Splash, yeah. Well, there was some, yeah, he falls overboard.

Shannon:

Well, yeah, she becomes human. It's a whole thing. You know, it doesn't matter. The point is, there are better movies about people swimming in the ocean.

Noah:

Yeah, Ralph, was TikTok predicting the final climactic battle scene from The Little Mermaid?

Ralph:

Oh, possibly. With Ursula? Yeah. Oh, that would be great.

Noah:

Ursula and Triton coming out of the Ocean.

Aubrie:

They were aliens this whole time. That's wild.

Ralph:

Were Ursula and Triton like a thing? Did they ever date?

Aubrie:

Th ere was some tension, I feel.

Shannon:

There's definitely tension. I mean, maybe.

Ralph:

Yeah.

Noah:

Does every Disney villain date the father of the protagonist? Like secretly in the backstory?

Ralph:

Well, Scar and Mufasa were brothers.

Aubrie:

Yeah.

Shannon:

So he definitely could have slept with...

Noah:

I think adopted. Oh, well then. Okay. Then they probably slept together. Because the, the prequel movie is coming out this week. The live action Mufasa film.

Ralph:

Can we stop it?

Shannon:

We're about to find out.

Aubrie:

It's wild. It's wild.

Ralph:

All remakes are

Aubrie:

Yeah.

Shannon:

I have questions. Who's doing, who's signing the adoption papers? Like, they live in the Sahara. I just have questions.

Aubrie:

Yeah, rightfully so.

Shannon:

Like, who said they were, like, who adopted it? Like, did Rafiki, like, is Rafiki, like, the adoption coordinator? Like, I just have...

Ralph:

He's a notary.

Shannon:

He's a notary, right? Yeah.

Noah:

He does stamp things.

Shannon:

All right, exactly. Well, yeah.

Aubrie:

Timon and Pumbaa could have an agency.

Ralph:

.Oh, shit, that is true.

Aubrie:

Oh, yeah.

Noah:

Not enough notaries live in trees.

Shannon:

That's just life. That's the life truth.

Aubrie:

All right, friends, should we get to the recipe?

Ralph:

Yes.

Aubrie:

Should we eat and chat some more? Tonight we cooked chicken breast strips with balsamic and rosemary. Serves two to four, unless you severely minimize the recipe like I did. So yeah, we got some garlic cloves, we got some balsamic vinegar, some fresh rosemary, some kosher salt, some red pepper flakes, some olive oil, and some chicken, as always.

Ralph:

This is the simplest recipe I think we've done. Yeah,

Aubrie:

Yeah, so thank you for choosing it, because it can get tricky.

Noah:

Yeah, it definitely had half as many Ingredients as some of the other options. And I was like, I don't have a ton of leftover ingredients.

Aubrie:

Fair. Yeah, I only had to get rosemary because we've cooked so many now that I have like a bunch of cinnamon sticks. I have like the dumbest things in the history of everything.

Ralph:

But it's good to have a stocked kitchen like that.

Aubrie:

Yeah. No, and it comes in handy when you're cooking like for 10 episodes. So usually there'll be some double up.

Ralph:

That's true.

Noah:

Mine is over here.

Ralph:

Alright, I'm going

Aubrie:

You're going in? Yeah, mine's severely cold.

Noah:

I arranged mine silly on a plate.

Aubrie:

That's so good!

Noah:

Well...

Aubrie:

That's so good! Oh my god, I love it.

Noah:

I did a terrible job of showing it on the webcam, but...

Aubrie:

Mine looks like jerky. It's like, cause I got the, I got the bagged like chick'n. I

Ralph:

I usually do it pretty, but mine today, I was just.

Aubrie:

It looks great.

Ralph:

Tastes good.

Aubrie:

Mine looks like seitan, so.

Noah:

But it's tiny.

Aubrie:

What it is.

Noah:

Do you think this recipe is exactly as advertised? At least how it turned out?

Ralph:

No.

Aubrie:

Um, well, I didn't do the right thing. So not for me.

Ralph:

Oh yeah. You want to share your chicken saga?

Aubrie:

Oh yeah. So I bought chicken this morning, um, at the Aldi. Sorry, Aldi. I'm going to put you on blast. Um, but my mom, so I bought chicken at the Aldi came home. It looked fine. It looked exact. Cause I do, I like look underneath, make sure there's no like weird blood spots. There can be, I guess, but I'm just like, Let's get something that looks safe because it's already risky cooking it right before this. And so I just put it in the fridge. I did not open the package until I had to marinate it and thank God we had to marinate this one because it gave me a few hours to run out to a store again in the freezing cold and find a replacement. And you know what? I was going to get chicken, but I was scathed by it. So I just got this chicken substitute from the Sprouts and it's actually pretty good. I like the flavoring of it. Yeah, it's nice. But my mom was like, Maybe someone put it in their cart and like had, I was like, it felt cold though. So like if some, if the employees are putting the chicken back that they're like finding on the shelves, like we got a real problem. Like, I don't think that's a real thing, but I don't know. I had bad chicken and it was good till December 10th. I checked those dates first off.

Noah:

2023.

Aubrie:

Yeah. 2019.

Ralph:

I just feel like there wasn't enough of the marinade. Yeah. For a whole pound of chicken, it was like a razor-thin coating, a whisper of a coating on all the chicken.

Noah:

We had 1.33 pounds of chicken, so I was increasing liquids anyway. And then, yeah, I added a little more vinegar to kind of wetten it.

Aubrie:

Nice.

Noah:

To sit.

Aubrie:

Yeah, your pieces look, like, nice and hearty.

Ralph:

It is delicious, though. It's not, like, overpowering.

Aubrie:

Yeah, I'm not getting much rosemary on mine. I wonder if it's because it's like fake chicken. It didn't sop it up. But it tastes like I can taste a lot of salt because it called for a lot of salt and not a lot of liquid. So it kind of tastes soy saucy to me.

Noah:

Yeah.

Aubrie:

Which is crazy.

Noah:

Yeah, I marinated mine overnight. So it's got that next day flavor. Y But I did add some salt and pepper in the pan because I wasn't getting as much from the salt. O

Aubrie:

Okay.

Ralph:

Are you a seasoner? Do you like a lot of flavor on your food?

Noah:

That's also true. I could have put hot sauce on this, but we gotta... We got to let the authors of this cookbook take us on the sensual journey as they intended.

Ralph:

As the editors intended.

Aubrie:

Yeah, yeah.

Noah:

Is there a name on the cookbook? Like, is it attributed to a person?

Aubrie:

F.L. Fowler. F.L. Wait, wait. I was going to say J.K. Fowling. That's actually pretty good.

Noah:

Now that sounds like a pseudonym.

Aubrie:

Yes, it is. I don't think anyone actually attached their name to this.

Ralph:

Speaking of sensual journey, there's usually in this cookbook, there's always a erotic story. Erotic is in quotes and scare quotes, a story that goes along with one, each one. And our resident thespian, Shannon DeVito, usually reads them while we're eating. Do you have one for us tonight, Shannon?

Shannon:

I do. Yeah, you sent it to me and I opened it up as you started to eat. And I want to say, I skimmed ahead and I'm sorry in advance for what's about to happen. So anyway, yeah, there's a story that is always written about the recipe. And since I am world's worst cook, world's most mediocre actor, I am reading this, the story. So I, here we go. The name of this story today is called Chicken Striptease.

Aubrie:

There it is.

Shannon:

So get ready. All right. Okay. I've been prevailed upon in ways I've never imagined. I've agreed to everything so far, but now it's my turn. I want more. I want to be dinner. I want it to taste like me. I want to be craved. He's obsessed with his kinky implements, his techniques, his condiments. I prefer to think, this is messed up. But I can see it's the right thing for him. My mind wanders to the 15 previous ingredients. Your whole control freak foodie thing, it was because of her, that woman, Mrs. Child. My mood has darkened. Julia opened my eyes to many important things, he explained. In fact, I'd still be eating frozen dinners if it weren't for her. Frozen dinners? The thought of my poor, fucked up foodie eating cold tater tots as a boy breaks my heart. Not taters, baby, never again. All right. I'll bet she never taught you this.

Aubrie:

Oh no.

Shannon:

Strip my breasts, Blades, I command softly, now. His eyes widen, craving, thickens in the air around us like wine reduction. I can tell he's thinking what he might do to my ample white flesh. Well, he's just gonna have to think a little longer because I have to marinate. So what will it be? Cupped in warm tortilla, slicked with vinaigrette, rubbed with hot spice. We won't need a recipe for what we're about to do. Yep. That was the story they wrote for this recipe.

Noah:

So in the lore of this cookbook, they've turned the woman into the chicken.

Aubrie:

Yes. Yes.

Shannon:

It is from the chicken's POV.

Aubrie:

Yes. And a human person is supposedly fucking this chicken. We just gotta, you know?

Shannon:

You're not wrong. You're not wrong.

Noah:

So when I was thinking about this cookbook, the most prominent questions in my mind were, did they expect anybody to actually make these recipes? And do people actually eat from this cookbook? Who aren't recording a podcast.

Ralph:

Yes, because Aubrie got me this cookbook secondhand and there are notes in this cookbook.

Aubrie:

Yes.

Ralph:

Somebody wrote excellent or tasty or delicious on some of these recipes. So there was somebody who did own this cookbook, loved this cookbook, cooked from this cookbook and thought it was delicious.

Noah:

Then why'd they get rid of it?

Aubrie:

They might have saved, maybe they took pictures of their favorites. Maybe they were like, we wrote it down in our old timey recipe book. And it's just, they're like mom's famous chicken recipe. And it's really like some smutty chicken from Fifty Shades of Chicken.

Shannon:

They cooked it so many times that it's all committed to memory.

Ralph:

We, we, uh, we, uh, hope everybody will go out and actually buy the cookbook because we're doing it this whole season and it's actually, the food has been super tasty. So everyone do not steal the recipes, go get the cookbook support, support the people that we are, um, rummaging through their book for entertainment. But also, uh, As Shannon was reading that story, I just heard a reference to Julia Child. Is Julia Child like now the canon villain in this cookbook story? I

Shannon:

I think so. Because we have not heard her mentioned yet. And I feel like that is now currently the case.

Aubrie:

Yeah.

Ralph:

Yeah.

Aubrie:

Or is she the other woman? Because it's like a sex, I don't know. He was like my beloved! Like, right?

Ralph:

Yeah.

Aubrie:

I don't know. Feels like an, it's Fifty Shades of Gray.

Shannon:

Like an ex.

Aubrie:

So I'm like, like the villains are really just like weird exes or...

Shannon:

Maybe.

Noah:

Yeah. Your whole control freak foodie thing, it was because of her, that woman, Mrs. Child.

Aubrie:

That's, that's wild.

Shannon:

Like is the, is he trying to say that like he had an affair with Julia Child? Like, I just, I have so many questions for the author of this book. I really need to find them.

Aubrie:

FL Fowler, show yourself.

Noah:

This is where the metaphor falls apart. Because having seen the first two Fifty Shades of Grey movies, but not read the books, in a like, oh, let's watch them as a group kind of party idea. Should I explain that more? Y

Ralph:

Yes, please. Please.

Noah:

In a like, we're going to watch like a bad movie night kind of situation. Although we did have a friend come in the first time who does BDSM and like debunk slash explain some things from the first film.

Aubrie:

Oh, that's fun.

Noah:

But so it is like he had this older woman who kind of had this relationship with him when he was too young. And don't ask questions about that. And now he's doing it to her. So this doesn't make sense in the cookbook because she did not cut him into pieces, soak him in rosemary overnight and simmer and saute him in the pan.

Ralph:

Right.

Noah:

Not literally.

Shannon:

Right. Metaphorically.

Aubrie:

Ye ah. Well, he's a human, right? Yeah. So it is hard to follow the human to the chicken love triangle.

Shannon:

My favorite part of that is that you just, you were like, look, he's a human, right? Like, that was, that, I, honest to God, that's my new ringtone.

Noah:

I mean, it's kind of more on theme if it's a chicken eating other chickens.

Aubrie:

Yeah, because chickens do like to eat chicken.

Noah:

What?

Aubrie:

My friends have a chicken farm and they do love chicken. Yeah, they're cannibals. They're little cannibals.

Shannon:

Oh, no.

Aubrie:

They eat it. Yeah, they're pretty. Yeah, no, it was pretty intense to watch. But yeah, they love it. It felt weird.

Shannon:

Do they just not know? Maybe they don't know.

Aubrie:

No, they don't know.

Noah:

Yeah, I feel like calling someone chicken brained is a specific name we have for something. Bird brained.

Aubrie:

Bird brained, yeah. They're very smart, though.

Ralph:

There is a Guinness World Record of a chicken living, a longest living chicken with its head cut off. I don't know if you've ever heard about this.

Noah:

Right.

Ralph:

I believe the chicken's name was Mike. And it lived for 18 days after the farmer that raised it cut its head off. So he was going to eat it, but it just kept walking around and doing stuff.

Aubrie:

Oh, my God. That's like a Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice thing. I

Ralph:

I, if that happened to me, I would have burned my house down and moved somewhere. Cause that's the devil right there.

Shannon:

One thousand percent. That is Satan.

Aubrie:

Yeah, no, that's, that's, disguised as.... give up the farm at that point. And what a weird name for a chicken, Mike.

Ralph:

It was some, I might be wrong about the name, but it was a very common, like generic name.

Aubrie:

I hope you're right, Donald.

Ralph Andracchio:

Right.

Aubrie:

I really hope you're right.

Shannon:

Wow. That's... Huh.

Aubrie:

So I have questions about your party too, Noah. Did any of them... Like, did you... Was there a point when you were like, this is a bad idea? Or like... Because it is like... There's a... So I watched the movies.

Noah:

Yeah.

Aubrie:

All... Because I like... was like, does one of us have to watch the movies? And we kind of agreed that we didn't have to. But one day I was like, I feel like someone here, and since it's like, I feel like I'll take the, I'll take, I'll bite the bullet. And so I did it and I regretted it immediately. But then I had to like text them and be like, what the fuck am I watching?

Noah:

Yeah.

Aubrie:

Wild choices all around.

Noah:

Yeah, you really could do a podcast just talking about the movies because they're fascinating and bizarre. But no, I so originally they had watched the Twilight movies and then for some reason as they were like, they finished them, they're like, okay, now we'll watch these and we'll invite like twice as many friends for this one. I think because otherwise, like you suffered through it alone, like...

Aubrie:

Yeah, no, it was, it was a bad, I was like, I regret this so hard, but it was totally my choice. Like I didn't even tell them till like after I watched the first one.

Noah:

But now when you taste the recipes, you can understand the emotional depth.

Ralph:

Like you're eating Jamie Dornan.

Aubrie:

Eating Jamie Dornan. Yes. Let's, let's just put that on the record.

Ralph:

I grew up... I'm an old head. So I grew up when the kind of the psychosexual movies were just starting like the early nineties when Basic Instinct came out. Like that was for me, like the best kind of version of that movie ever. So I'm always comparing things to the original Basic Instinct. Cause that was like, when that came out, everybody's like, this is me, this is great. Everybody's talking about it. And now like, I couldn't watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie because I just thought like, I'm just gonna be comparing them to Basic Instinct and being like, eh, this is nothing.

Noah:

When was Fatal Attraction?

Ralph:

Oh yeah, Fatal Attraction was before that. Doing a little quick Googling while we're on the air.

Aubrie:

Another one that came on my radar, Fear, came out. That was so fucking weird. I tried to rewatch some of it, and I was like, this is so gross. And I just turned it off.

Noah:

I saw a clip of that on social media. I'd never seen it before. It was weird.

Ralph:

Fatal attraction was 87, and Basic Instinct was 92.

Aubrie:

Oh nice. Yeah.

Ralph:

And Fear, the movie...

Aubrie:

Yeah.

Ralph:

Was 96.

Aubrie:

Okay. Yeah. I remember a friend, like literally we had like a party or something and she like rented it and we watched it together as like teenage girls. It was a real choice.

Ralph:

Marky Mark, right? I

Aubrie:

None of us knew like what was coming, but yeah, it's never left my brain.

Ralph:

Marky Mark and Reese Witherspoon, right?

Aubrie:

Yeah.

Ralph:

Yeah.

Aubrie:

And he was like so much older than her. It was really ...yeah it's not great.

Noah:

In some ways 50 shades of gray is less weird than those movies because those movies are trying to make you sexually attracted to like a literal killer and here he he he maybe cares about her?

Aubrie:

Yeah.

Noah:

He hasn't killed anyone, at least.

Aubrie:

Well, I think he does. I think it's, you haven't seen the third one, right? i

Noah:

I haven't seen the third one. Oh, no, you can tell me.

Aubrie:

I won't spoil anything. But wait, no, the one thing I will say about, there's like a, it ends, oh, should I spoil this? I think you'll still enjoy it. Shan, can you be my litmus? There's a cat chasing a toy, too. Don't mind that.

Shannon:

Wait, what? Do I know? I don't know if I know.

Aubrie:

Yeah, because I sent you a video of my TV. I think I sent you both it. There was a montage of her just, like, memories of them, but then they would choose, like, really weird sexual moments, and it went on for way too long. Like, it was such an insane move. But I was like, this is... bat shit and i've like kind of been like obsessed with whoever made this choice because it was just a very specific choice. Like she had like an umbrella she was like walking through a grave... like it wasn't any of them that died. I will never re-watch that movie so i'm just gonna part it together in my brain.

Ralph:

I have to watch these movies now just so I can satisfy my curiosity.

Aubrie:

Yeah, what's the 50 shades... what's the last one called?

Shannon:

53 shades.

Aubrie:

Yeah. Just go to that one. Find it on a free streaming service. Just go straight to the end and then you'll get the montage of all the good moments. And then like, uh, what's her name?

Ralph:

I was going to say Dolores. That's not right.

Aubrie:

Daisy?

Noah:

Dakota Johnson?

Aubrie:

Dakota. Dakota Johnson. Yeah.

Ralph:

Dakota Fanning. Dakota Johnson.

Aubrie:

Dakota Fanning. Dakota Johnson? Is that her name?

Ralph:

Dolores Claiborne. That's her name.

Aubrie:

Dolores Claiborne. Julia Child.

Noah:

Supermarket chicken. Generic supermarket chicken.

Aubrie:

Yeah, I just remember her carrying an umbrella. It was such an insane choice.

Ralph:

All right. Hey, I'm not trying to knock anybody's artistic vision.

Aubrie:

No.

Ralph:

This is where we're

Aubrie:

They got so much money for those movies, so the fact that they were able to end them on a crazy... not actually put a, but a montage was why I was like, wow. Usually studios won't allow... you know, montages as the end thing, maybe. I don't know. It's just a hunch I have because I haven't seen many. But what do I know?

Noah:

Every once in a while, you get a movie that just ends with like a where are they now kind of montage.

Aubrie:

Oh, yeah. Yes. I mean,

Ralph:

My favorite kind of montages are 80s montages. Usually in a mall, trying on clothes, you know, doing stuff. That's where the montage really peaked.

Aubrie:

Yeah, yeah. No, I love those. This was just clips of the old movies put together.

Ralph:

They were like, we need to fill 15 minutes at the end of this movie.

Aubrie:

Like, it wasn't the credits. It was just part of the movie. Like, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, it was part of the movie because there were credits after it. It was wild.

Noah:

What if this cookbook got adapted to the screen?

Ralph:

I would watch that. That'd be the first one in line.

Aubrie:

Well, I think we have writers here, so we should be the ones to adapt it. I'm going to go on the book.

Shannon:

Yeah, let's add it to our list.

Ralph:

Adaptations.

Aubrie:

It's going to be a dramatic thriller, much like..

Ralph:

Speaking of thrills and drama, I think it's time for our questions, yes?

Aubrie:

Oh yes.

Ralph:

Did you like that lead-in like that transition?

Aubrie:

It was very good.

Ralph:

Thank you.

Shannon:

That was beautiful.

Noah:

We also didn't explain your uh speaking of LGBTQ+ segue before you introduced me but that's okay.

Ralph:

So yeah no you are yes you are part of the the family, rights and marriage . Yeah.

Noah:

Yes. Engaged to a man.

Ralph:

Okay. Congratulations, by the way.

Noah:

Thank you.

Ralph:

When is the... Do you have a date set?

Noah:

We do not. Oh, leaving it open.

Ralph:

Keeping your options open. I like it.

Noah:

No, I mean, more like we've been busy and we just got to sit down and make plans and throw darts at a calendar.

Ralph:

Yeah. Oh, you don't have any specific date that holds any kind of... memory or anything?

Noah:

Our dating anniversary is like May. That would be convenient, but it seems like prime wedding time, so we'll see.

Ralph:

Just now that you've brought it up, thank you for bringing it up. Something for any LGBTQ plus viewers or listeners to think about as the new administration is coming in. And if you are in a long-term relationship, even if you are married to somebody of the same sex, please be sure you safeguard your rights. Don't just rely on the marriage certificate because those can easily go away. Make sure you each have power of attorney for each other. Make sure you have visitation. I forget what that's called, but some kind of medical visitation thing. And you can keep a laminated little copy in your pocket at all times. So if the hospital asks for it, you have it. There's a ton of stuff we need to do to protect our rights, which is insane and dumb because it's 2024, but we have to do it. So if you're listening and you're LGBTQ, please talk to a lawyer and make sure you have all of your bases covered.

Shannon:

Is that somewhere? That people can... Is there a website or something that people can go to to see all of the things that people can do?

Ralph:

There are. I don't know it off the top of my head. I have it saved somewhere.

Aubrie:

We'll put it in the show notes.

Ralph:

Noah, do you know of any?

Noah:

No, I was seeing stuff come across social media. And I know some of like the in Philly, some of the council people have talked about like kind of looking towards those resources.

Ralph:

Yeah. We'll include it in the notes.

Aubrie:

Yeah, we'll do show notes for sure.

Ralph:

But yes, just be sure you safeguard your rights. It's so dumb that I even have to say that.

Aubrie:

So dumb.

Ralph:

Yeah. Marriage does not... It comes with over a thousand perks and benefits under the law and taxes and everything, but they can all be easily taken away if you are not Adam and Eve.

Aubrie:

Yeah, ugh.

Noah:

Yeah. Legally, you can't call someone hubby unless you're married to them.

Ralph:

I hate that word anyway. I never use it.

Noah:

Skip the paperwork.

Shannon:

You hate it enough not to get married.

Ralph:

That right you can take away from me. That's fine. Yeah. All right. So yes. Thank you for reminding us about that. We've covered all the maudelin stuff. Now we can get to the questions. Yes. Great. All right. Five questions. Answer however you would like. They're open-ended. First of all, we would like to know what do you think is the sexiest food besides chicken, obviously?

Noah:

I did get the questions in advance and I did prepare and I'm glad because otherwise we would be sitting here for like 20 minutes while I think about this one because this is a tough question. I'm going with spaghetti or other forms of long pasta.

Ralph:

Okay. That's the first time we've gotten pasta.

Aubrie:

Well, I think Alison did pasta eaten Lady and the Tramp style.

Noah:

Yeah. That's part of what I'm thinking. I think you have to kind of slurp it up, which makes your mouth make certain shapes.

Aubrie:

Oh yeah. I like it.

Noah:

You can make it light or heavy. You can do all sorts of stuff with it.

Ralph:

OK.

Noah:

I don't know. I feel like the only other option is like, you know, certain things in the produce aisle.

Aubrie:

I like it. I like it. All right. Speaking of sexy, what would a sexy cookbook be called and why? S

Noah:

So the first thing that popped into my head was Nachos for One.

Aubrie:

Yes.

Noah:

And I did decide to say it because, you know, you have to love yourself. That's important. Another one I came up with is hot drinks for your hot date. Because I do think like, it's getting cold. I love sharing hot drinks. Very cozy, very cuddly. And you could use recipes. And then I have four bad ones.

Ralph:

Great.

Shannon:

No bad ones but continue.

Noah:

The joy of eggs, jicama making love.

Ralph:

That's a deep cut.

Noah:

Sauces to wet your asspetite.

Ralph:

Oh, that, come on that's a winner.

Shannon:

That's incredible.

Aubrie:

That's not the one you started with.

Noah:

It's not it's not my sexy cookbook.

Aubrie:

Fair fair. Yeah.

Noah:

Um and the last one i'm just calling polenta.

Shannon:

Very sexy.

Aubrie:

Oh my god.

Shannon:

You've got two Italians on this podcast, that is the sexiest one you could have said.

Aubrie:

You should copyright those by the way and then you can sell the rights to whoever claims them because they will go. They will fly.

Noah:

Can we get in touch with F.L. Fowler and see if she knows how to cook anything other than chicken?

Aubrie:

I think in early 2025 that has to be our because we've joked about it, but like none of us have had time to actively pursue it Or like it was just a joke, but I've always been like, we should pursue it. We'll figure it out.

Noah:

Doing a like documentary, like the search for F.L. Fowler to try to figure out who wrote these recipes. I could see that existing.

Aubrie:

Oh, my God. Yeah, we...

Shannon:

It's our side podcast. It's like Dead Eyes, but the search...

Ralph:

And it would be ...the podcast would be called "a podcast to whet your asspetite."

Aubrie:

Wet your asspetite. Yes. Search for FL Fowler.

Ralph:

Brilliant.

Noah:

And, and I didn't even realize that like the word wet is usually spelled W H E T when you whet your appetite, but I spelled it W E T.

Aubrie:

I like it more sexual.

Noah:

I don't know.

Shannon:

I didn't know that.

Noah:

I knew that weirdly.

Aubrie:

I knew that weirdly.

Shannon:

I'm also the worst speller ever, so that's not really a barometer for what people should and should not know.

Noah:

Yeah, you need a British person to walk in and ask you if you want to whet your appetite.

Aubrie:

Whet, yeah.

Shannon:

If only.

Aubrie:

I love it. All right, Ralph, I think that's you.

Ralph:

Was that me? Oh, that is me. I

Aubrie:

Yeah, I think we just did a....

Ralph:

Um, yeah, sexiest food mascot. What do you got?

Noah:

So I struggle to think of food mascots and I like just listen to a podcast where they discuss them, which was a strange coincidence. But stop me if you've heard this one before. Jolly Green Giant.

Ralph:

Sure.

Shannon:

Yeah.

Aubrie:

Yeah. I don't think it was the main one, though. I think like Kait Thompson mentioned it in passing, but I think hers was someone else.

Shannon:

I think when when they when when Patrick asked us all, I think that's who I agreed with. Because, I mean, come on.

Noah:

You know, and I did listen to that episode, so maybe I stole it directly from you subconsciously. I

Shannon:

I mean, it's the correct answer. I mean, that guy can, that green bean man can carry you around. And that is a win.

Aubrie:

He can get it.

Shannon:

He can get it.

Noah:

And unlike the Hulk, he's happy.

Shannon:

Thank you. And healthy.

Ralph:

True.

Noah:

You think the Hulk is just sitting around eating junk food?

Shannon:

Yes. I've seen, I've seen End Game. Yes, he's eating giant pancakes and like a truck full of eggs. Like, yes. His cholesterol is very high.

Ralph:

Yeah.

Noah:

Yeah. But you can burn a lot of cholesterol just, you know, pounding your enemy into the dirt.

Aubrie:

Hulk smash him.

Ralph:

That's what she said.

Shannon:

Heyo.

Aubrie:

Heyo.

Ralph:

Heyo.

Aubrie:

All right. If you were stuck on a desert island and could only eat one thing, what would it be?

Noah:

I'm assuming this doesn't have to be something that grows on a desert island.

Aubrie:

No, no. It could just be like if you had limitless supply of anything. Doesn't have to...it can be a perishable. Like, rules don't matter.

Noah:

I actually did not choose my favorite food here, which is probably nachos. Not necessarily for one. But I went with pizza. It isn't terrible for you in the grand scheme of things. And there's a lot of variety there.

Aubrie:

Nice. Yeah, because you could like literally have a different toppings and like switch them up. Because like in this scenario, we have like a pizza chef there.

Ralph:

Would you have the pizza delivered every day by boat?

Aubrie:

Ooh.

Noah:

I like the idea of being able to pull it hot off of trees.

Aubrie:

Like a pizza tree?

Noah:

Yeah. But delivered by boat is good. Airlifted.

Aubrie:

Or it could be it could rain like cloudy in the chance of meatballs.

Shannon:

Wait, say it again. I'm sorry.

Aubrie:

I'm sorry. It could like rain like cloudy with a chance of meatballs. They could just fall from the sky just like willy nilly too. Sorry, Shan, didn't mean to...

Shannon:

No, that's, that was much better than what I was going to say. But if you're, if it's being delivered, okay, just hear me out. If it's being delivered by boat, then you're not stranded on a desert Island anymore. You're just, you get on that boat and then you can go get your own pizza.

Ralph:

I don't know how you ruin everything, Shannon.

Shannon:

I'm just using logic.

Aubrie:

Well, here, but I worded it very trickily because I said if you were stuck on a desert island, people could be coming in and out.

Ralph:

That is true.

Shannon:

Sure.

Noah:

Maybe you're emotionally stuck. You can't leave cause you know.

Aubrie:

Yeah, you're mentally stuck.

Shannon:

That's very relatable.

Noah:

I also think if you've ever tried to like get in the car with the Papa John's delivery person, they probably are going to give you a hard time.

Ralph:

That is absolutely true.

Aubrie:

That's your, yeah the Papa John's boat is your only hope for escape.

Shannon:

I don't know, I feel like I would try. I just uh well yeah I don't know the Papa John's Papa John's can go but if it was a Domino's guy... We've got a different thing. Anywho, I'm sorry to bring logic into this scenario because that makes no sense to do in this.

Aubrie:

No, it's fine.

Noah:

That's the best kind.

Aubrie:

50 Shades of Chicken.

Shannon:

Right. There's no logic involved in our current cookbook.

Noah:

Yeah. A better book might have been 50 Breeds of Chicken where it's just pictures of different kinds of live chickens.

Aubrie:

There should be a spinoff.

Noah:

I guess that's now two steps removed because it doesn't have any of the words from the title of the book in it anymore.

Shannon:

Well.

Noah:

Yeah.

Shannon:

It has 50 in it. Anyway. All right. Last question. Fuck, marry, kill. I have to do it in my head. Cranberry sauce, stuffing, and green bean casserole.

Noah:

So you must pick different foods every time, and we're getting the special post-Thanksgiving recording session edition?

Aubrie:

Yeah.

Ralph:

Got it.

Noah:

I found this relatively easy.

Aubrie:

Okay.

Noah:

And we'll see what people think, but I think you marry the stuffing... you fuck the green bean casserole and you kill the cranberry sauce.

Aubrie:

Interesting. What do you have against cranberry sauce?

Noah:

It's not satisfying by itself.

Aubrie:

Fair, fair.

Ralph:

That is fair.

Noah:

Even for one night in each others arms. I don't know. Maybe you're in a tub full of cranberry sauce. I don't know what's going on.

Aubrie:

Yeah, yeah. Choose your own adventure.

Noah:

Green bean casserole is a guilty pleasure.

Aubrie:

Yeah.

Noah:

You don't need it your whole life. You just need it once.

Aubrie:

I like it. I like this logic,

Ralph:

Yeah. You thought about this. I give you credit, you thought about this logically. Every answer makes sense. I disagree, but I can't.

Noah:

What are you marrying?

Shannon:

Yeah, what is yours?

Ralph:

I would also marry stuffing because... I would reverse green bean casserole and cranberry sauce.

Aubrie:

See, I would go with Noah's because I do love cranberry sauce, but I can't eat much of it, and I would eat more of green bean casserole, and I can sustain that for longer. It's nice, cranberry sauce, but like.

Ralph:

But if you're just, if it's just like a side thing, which cranberry sauce is, it's not meant to be the whole shebang.

Aubrie:

You know.

Ralph:

You know, go visit cranberry sauce every, like every couple of weeks, be like, hey baby, you home? Yeah.

Noah:

I think maybe cranberry sauce is a truck stop hookup. You're not even going to a motel with it.

Ralph:

So you're making it better.

Aubrie:

We need to expand our categories.

Noah:

If it's a room with a bed, you need green bean casserole.

Shannon:

It's a classy joint.

Aubrie:

Oh my god that's so good.

Ralph:

It also depends on the kind of cranberry sauce- if it's the kind that comes in the can and still looks like a can when you take it out, that's a truck stop hookup. But if it's like the fancy kind with the twigs and the full the whole berries that that's like Four Seasons.

Noah:

OK.

Aubrie:

Yeah see, my family always has cans we like because we're from Delco. So that's why I chose to kill it because I'm like, you know, it's just like jelly canned food. One or two bites, I'm good.

Noah:

That's all you need.

Ralph:

All right, we're careening quickly towards the end. This has been fun.

Noah:

Oh my.

Ralph:

This went super quick. I hope you had fun, Noah.

Noah:

Oh yeah. And I ate chicken.

Ralph:

And you ate chicken. So we see, we feed our guests. We're, we're a full service podcast. This will, I'm not quite sure when this will be coming out, but is there anything generally you would like to plug for anybody, anybody to go, you know, see you, listen to you, connect with you online? What do you got?

Noah:

Yes. So, uh, Talking 2024 is releasing weekly, but it all continues to exist. So if you had a favorite week this year that you want to pre-live based on what we thought might be happening, definitely check that out. If you recognize any of our guests, check it out. Or you could listen all the way through and chart the journey. Dying Message, the detective anime mystery podcast continues to exist. If anybody is into anime... Or Mysteries, you might enjoy that. It's a niche that I am firmly inside of. So you can find both of those wherever you get your podcasts. Also, Talking 2024 is on Instagram if you want to see like the pictures with the guests and kind of browse all that stuff. And then the other thing I'll shout out is I'll hopefully be doing again soon my solo improvised play, Noah's No Show Show. So people should follow that on Instagram. And you can find some clips from Philly Fringe. I would definitely like that and then share it and then like it some more. I'm hoping to share some more clips in the coming months and then perform again sometime next year.

Aubrie:

Nice.

Ralph:

Excellent. You're a busy, busy man.

Aubrie:

Yes.

Noah:

Yeah, maybe that's why I never cook chicken.

Ralph:

It is.

Noah:

Although this was super quick.

Ralph:

Time intensive. It was super quick and kind of tasty. Yeah, still very good.

Aubrie:

Yeah, I think I'm going to go with real chicken next time if it's not spoiled in the package. No, no shame to this. It just wasn't, it was like, it wasn't breasts. So like I couldn't cut it into strips. So it was just a little tiny chunks, so...

Ralph:

Right on. Shannon?

Speaker 01:

I'd kill all three.

Ralph Andracchio:

Perfect. What a way to end the show. That's tracks. Thank you again, Noah, for being on the show. Thank you, Aubrie and Shannon. Thank you everybody for listening. And always remember to eat responsibly. Thank you all. Have a good night.

Aubrie:

Good night.

People on this episode

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Aubrie Williams

Host
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Ralph Andracchio

Host
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Shannon DeVido

Host