Cookbook Obscura
The podcast that turns obscure recipes into awesome conversations.
Join good friends and comedians Shannon Devido (Lucky Hank, Terrible People, Best Summer Ever), Aubrie Williams (ManiPedi, Goat Rodeo), and Ralph Andracchio (King Friday, Sad Trombone) as they challenge their guests (and each other) to make obscure recipes from obscure cookbooks and then eat them together. It's like saying "Ew this is weird...try this" but in podcast form.
Do you like odd recipes? Or cookbooks with weird merchandising tie-ins? How about baloney as a vital ingredient? If so, then this show is for you!
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Cookbook Obscura
S02E05 Alejandro Morales and the Roasted Bone-In Breast
This season's cookbook is 50 Shades of Chicken. This New York Times Best Seller is the parody cookbook you didn't know you needed, and we're here to show you some of the surprisingly good recipes from the book.
This week we're talking about vinyl clothing, ranch dressing, and knowing if your chicken is right temperature with the very funny Alejandro Morales! Alejandro is a comedian and producer based in South Philly. He’s the creator of the foodie rap battle game show “Eat Your Beats” and co-host of the podcast “We’re Dating” with Rachel Peters. Recently, Alejandro was a featured performer in the 2024 Asheville Comedy Festival.
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Welcome to the show that turns obscure recipes into awesome conversations- Cookbook Obscura. Do you like vinyl clothing, ranch dressing and knowing if your chicken is the right temperature? Oh, buddy, then you have come to the right place. This week, the kitchen staff welcomes Alejandro Morales. Want more weird recipes in your life? Then don't forget to hit that subscribe button and share this show with your friends. Want to see what we're eating? Okay, then check out our YouTube channel for the complete video of this episode, as well as our Instagram for the recipe and behind-the-scenes clips. And now let's eat.
Aubrie:And look at the, I wonder if you can see this. But look, you press a button and the door just opens.
Shannon:I need that. Maybe I could actually cook if I had something like that. Probably not.
Ralph:I feel like I feel like we're so unprepared for this episode. It's fine you get to see that...
Ralph:Shannon: I'm loving it.
Ralph:Ralph: You.
Ralph:Shannon: Chicken get Ralph, how see how the sausage is
Ralph:Ralph: Sorry chicken ralph how the chicken is made. Sorry, I do have to say this recipe, although. very
Ralph:What, my house smells amazing right now what?
Shannon:It's do you think is making it smell so good? .
Ralph:Shannon: That's lemon and cool.
Ralph:Ralph: And I, so it's very fragrant and . it just smells wonderful that's kind of cool and I seriously I'm...
Ralph:All the recipes this season have been so good and it just smells wonderful. That's kind of cool and I seriously can't wait to eat .... All the recipes this season have been so good and this one does not seem like it's going to disappoint either. I did not make any fancy sides this time because screw that noise, because I didn't feel like being crazy for this episode, so I'm the calmest I've been in six episodes I love it.
Shannon:Depends, when you okay, when you cook, like in general, do you usually make sides or do you just like make one big port like main course and then like you don't have other things? i
Ralph:depends if I make like stew or I make this uh, grandma's chicken and rice thing in my instapot which it's like I don't even know how to describe it. It's like very cheesy and rice and chicken like vegetables. It's gumbo, I don't know. I don't know what it is, but it's like stuff like that. I don do. .... you
Ralph:But if we're doing pasta or if it's like a chicken or some kind of other protein, it just feels weird to eat it by. It's like just tearing into a piece of chicken by itself. So I like to have a little starch and a little vegetable and nice and balanced meal and it's just. You know I'm a big comfort food guy, so anything that feels like your mom made you a plate of something spectacular, it just eating is. Eating shouldn't just be I need to shove food in my face because I'm hungry. It should be like we're going to sit down, we're going to relax, we're going to have this delicious you eat with your eyes before anything else, right? So it looks nice, it smells nice, you're having a conversation, you're talking, you know it's, it's a whole thing, it's a ritual.
Shannon:You really are Italian.
Ralph:I really. That's how I show my love, the first thing I tell people when they come in my house did you eat anything, are you okay? Do you want something to drink? I can make you food right now, are you okay?
Shannon:Yeah.
Ralph:Yeah, it's like hey, you know there's worse ways I can show my love.
Shannon:It's great. I totally relate. I mean not me personally, but my family is very similar to that. Yeah, it's, I guess. Yeah, it is that Italian kind of like hospitality of it all. nice
Ralph:Yeah, and vivid memories of growing up and all around a kitchen table, uh, young, old, whatever and then all the old people were telling stories and all the young people were listening and we were helping cook and they were teaching us different things about how to cook stuff, and it's it's, it's this wonderful, warm memory that I want other people to experience, that too.
Shannon:That's really nice.
Shannon:nic??
Ralph:You know, you know what else is nice, what Our guest that have on today. We keep getting the gets guys. I don't know, we got these great- one right after the other- guests on the show. It's, it's embarrassing, um, but today, uh, for for today's uh episode, uh, we have a uh comedian and producer based in South Philly. So uh, go, canucks, I don't know. Uh, he's the creator of the foodie rap battle game Eat Your Beats Great show. And co-host of the podcast "We're Dating with Rachel Peters. Recently he was featured performer in the 2024 Asheville Comedy Festival. So good on ya. Folks, please welcome to the show Alejandro Morales.
Alejandro:Yes,
Ralph:Absolutely representing Septa.
Alejandro:It's important, it is. they
Ralph:Public transit is very important. How did you swing being a featured performer in Asheville? Did they just... your reputation preceded you?
Alejandro:Well, my tape preceded me. So, yeah, you submit, you pay a little submission fee, you give them a tape and I got in, which is cool because it's one of the only festivals I applied to this year. I didn't have of a budget uch of for festivals.
Alejandro:So this, this math, mathed correctly this time around.
Ralph:It's expensive to go to festivals Cause you have to get there, you have to find a room to stay, you have food and like it's, it's a, it's a young person's game. I don't have that kind of time or money. AI el am aj a dn very or young person, barely 19 years old. That's crazy. I'm back, oh, you're back, she's back.
Aubrie:I did it. So it said it was 230 inside and it feels it's getting less hot now but it's been out of 230 degrees inside. Fahrenheit. Yeah, that's what it said. It's like royal, is that not normal? Oh, okay, so it's it's. It's like it's moist. I mean it's coming down in temperature now, but it was that when it came out, so I should be okay, right yeah, do you want to tell?
Ralph:do you want to tell the audience really quickly what happened?
Aubrie:oh yes, I am cooking at a house that is not my own, so I uh, somehow the oven got turned off in the process for a short period of time and then I realized about 10 minutes before I had to jump on this call um with the food, and uh, so I started it again and then I figured if it didn't work out we would some greasy cups or some leftovers, we'd make it, make it happen. But now it looks good.
Ralph:I think I'm safe, so I've done, if there's any, if there's any doctors listening who would prefer Aubrey. Didn't eat it too late in. This is in the past.
Alejandro:She has to do the best in the house that she broke into.
Aubrie:Right, you know, it does look like I did the way I'm dressed. It tracks Alejandro Alejandro.
Ralph:I just told everybody a little bit about like growing up food wise, how, how kind of some of our culture was centered around the kitchen. Do you have a similar experience growing up for yourself?
Alejandro:um well, I spent a lot of time in my teenage years hanging out with this puerto rican family that was in my church, parish, and it was four brothers and mom and dad, and so there was always company at the house. There's always a lot of teenagers at the house and there was just seemingly this limited reserve of pork chops and rice to go around. Definitely, I look back and I'm like they never seemed to mind that there were always so many, uh, little mouths to feed, but I guess they already had the four sons to like worry, to reckon with, and they were just like hoovers. Uh, so it was very, very plentiful memories. They they introduced me to my first um pig roasts I never, so that was really hanging out with that family.
Alejandro:They definitely contributed to my nutrition at the time. Spent a lot of time there.
Ralph:What goes into a pig roast?
Alejandro:I mean, besides the pig, Well, I mean, yeah, a lot of it has to do with setting up the fire pit for the pig, right? So you set up the fire pit in your yard and then you've got a spit that you set up, you know, you've got the pig itself. My experience has been giant, giant, giant, and then you have the pig. I mean I didn't do any of these things, I did not get my hands dirty with the pig, but I mean, at the end of it you had a lot of food.
Shannon:That's crazy.
Alejandro:Where'd you?
Shannon:grow up.
Alejandro:Upstate, new York, hudson Valley.
Ralph:Oh okay, go Hudson, go Hudson.
Aubrie:Hawks, ralph or Sean. Have you ever done a pig roast before? Have you ever been to one? No, Absolutely not I don't eat pork, so, uh, that sounds like a horrifying experience yeah, because, as alejandro knows, they put like the head with the apple in the mouth like no no, no food with heads.
Ralph:No no, it's big yeah.
Aubrie:Yeah it's. It can be jarring. When I was a kid we went to like a cousin's party and I don't think we knew it was a pig roast, and so we just walked into the backyard and bam.
Ralph:Right into the roasting pig.
Aubrie:Some adults had to have known it was a pig roast but did not choose to tell us.
Shannon:And it makes sense was it good.
Ralph:Well, they should have shared. I mean, what if somebody comes that doesn't eat meat or pork?
Aubrie:well, the kids. There were other options for the kids, I'm sure, um, but I think they like knew we were picky. I don't, it was delco, it's, it's confusing.
Shannon:Uh, what do you think difference between like a Delco pig roast and like a Hudson Valley pig roast? Like, did you guys find a pig on the side of the street? Like, what are the differences?
Alejandro:well, Well, you know what?
Aubrie:You'll never catch me in a Delco pig roast, so I could not tell you it was probably like a plastic fake pig and they just stuffed it with like meat of a sort. Oh God, you know, I feel like in.
Alejandro:Delco, you put like Fritos on the outside of it for some reason.
Aubrie:Yeah, you cover, yeah, you, you cover you pour some ranch dressing on there say less, I'm there, I'm already there alright, that's my new business venture.
Ralph:Alejandro, how long have you been doing comedy for in the city?
Alejandro:I've been doing comedy for 14 years and I'm going to make it any day.
Ralph:It's just around the corner? Do you get people who, once they find out you're a comedian, say, oh my god, you can use this in your act, and then they tell you a whole story? That's really terrible.
Alejandro:I've met a new person.
Ralph:Since trump, I only hang out with comedians that's true, that is true, I, I, I often get like, oh, you're in comedy, you could probably use this for one of your skits. And I'm like, first of all, nobody says that. Secondly, up to meet a civilian. I want right, they're cute, they're adorable they don't know, they don't know yeah for now but you also.
Ralph:I. I want to talk more about eat your beats, because I think it's an entry, it's a good show and it's interesting because it mixes comedy with food, which I think is great. Where did the idea come up for that?
Alejandro:I was at a house party in 2013 or 2014. And this girl was at the kitchen table and she was going ham and cheese, what Ham and cheese? That's what's up. Ham and cheese, what Ham and cheese? And then everybody went around the table and did a little verse on him and I was like that is a. So I adapted that into a a four minute bit for this. This festival that existed at the time called the $5 comedy festival.
Alejandro:One of the shows during that fest was called the bit show and it was just bits of progressively longer lengths or progressively shorter. So you start out with a bit that was 10. Next bit would be nine, next bit would be eight, next bit would be seven and I think Eat your Beats was a four-minute bit or a five-minute bit, and the bit went so well that we expanded it into a full 60-minute show that was presented monthly at Plays and Players, and when the good committee theater became a physical space 2016, we were one of the monthly uh shows until 2019.
Ralph:That's awesome. Some of the best shows are born as bits, yeah and it's so good.
Aubrie:I'm glad it got its lengthier time slot. Yeah, really good, you can fill an hour.
Shannon:So I don't know this show. I'm so sorry. I'm a huge jerk and don't go to other people's things, just my own. Can you explain what this show, how you made it into SAC Minute, like what do you guys do?
Alejandro:Sure, what we do is we have about five contestants. They're usually stand-up comedians or improv comedians, and they come up with food-themed rapper alter egos, like Bill Young, tater the Creator, or yeah, or Jada Swiss, uh, and so they, they, they take the stage they have, and then we challenge them, uh, to use their lyrical, textual and culinary imagination in games where maybe they'll rap about what they had for breakfast, or maybe they have to make a sandwich and then rap, uh, you know, a romantic wrap, in some way. Or we blow them and we feed them a mystery food and then they have to guess in rhyme what the mystery food that we just ate. Yeah, we basically just put it through the ringer and we make them freestyle wrap on the spot, and then somebody gets up and takes it out at the end.
Shannon:Yeah, that's so fun. Were there ever any disasters?
Alejandro:well, there have been contestants who found that they hated uh freestyle rapping and they didn't discover how much they hated doing it until they got on stage and tried to do it. Uh john deary, famously. Uh spent several rounds begging to eliminated, but they loved him so much that they couldn't let him go. They wouldn't eliminate him, but he was, he was. He was like I don't want to do this anymore. It's hard, I can't do it, I just host it.
Aubrie:Yeah, it's, I did it, so I did it, and it was so like I was like there's no way I will last, like I'll be immediately eliminated, but I had a gimmick so I got into the final. I think we were like eight or something. I got into the final four.
Alejandro:And you were the Philly.
Aubrie:Taco, was it? It was the Philly taco. Yes, I was wearing a taco costume with a pizza hat and I uh, carried a Philly taco on stage, which is the worst idea that, like in my head, it sounded great. I had never eaten a Philly taco before. If you're not familiar audience with what a Philly taco is, it is a? Uh, you get a gym steak and you get a slice of Lorenzo's and you wrap the gym steak in a giant slice of Lorenzo's and you eat it. And, uh, I had to carry that on stage for the entire hour while wearing a costume again. Uh, maybe not my best move. And uh, I had other people try it and I ate, I think, half of it at the end, maybe like a good quarter, I think.
Ralph:So, yeah, I think people just wanted to keep me around to see if I got like food poisoning, or One thing I remember about you when I first met you was you had an iron stomach. You could eat literally anything and you're like we're hopping on stage Wait, and I would have been like, if I ate, that I would be in the bathroom shitting my brains out.
Aubrie:Yeah, that was I remember famously, which I sometimes in my brain. I'm like why do I think these things are good ideas? Because they're not. There's also two dogs right by me, so if we get a little bathroom, it's not me. This is where it gets a little hairy. Sorry, audience listening, um, but yeah. So before most King Friday shows, I would drink a coffee and eat an entire Kadova burrito just to challenge myself and like no one asked me to to. I don't know why I did it, but I was like you know what? Let's see. Let's see what happens.
Ralph:I got secondhand diarrhea just from watching you do it. Yeah, like my, my stomach was like nope, we gotta, we gotta go. I know there's nothing in here, but I gotta get it out of me.
Aubrie:Yeah, yeah, no, I don't know why. Like my family is notorious for like food challenges. Like we're the type of family who, like, if we go to a restaurant and there's like you can get your picture on the wall, we're all like, wow, like let's do it. Like we're in. So I might just be like in my DNA, um, but yeah, not a great. Like, now that I'm an adult and I've matured a little bit, I'm like no one told me to do that. A, b, I was spending money and also like putting my body through stuff right before we got on stage and I'm like you could have made it easier. You know you could have just taken that little layer out, but it was just what. What?
Ralph:it was like a ritual, a bad one uh, alejandro, do you have any horror stories of of food and shows mixing in a horrible way?
Alejandro:um, oh, just a really embarrassing one. I um, when I was like working full time and then trying to go to all mics and I would be so hungry around dinner time, I was trying to get in line for the mic. So one Thursday evening I went and picked up some sushi and then I came to the Raven because I wanted to do the mic there and I just assumed that there was somewhere that I could just sit down and have this sushi. And I just couldn't find anywhere. It was packed everywhere. So, oh God. So I went to the bathroom on the first floor of the Raven and I ate my sushi there before I went up at the mic. Oh God, I'm so ashamed.
Ralph:Bathroom sushi.
Alejandro:Oh no, it's the most disgusting thing I've ever done. I regret it.
Aubrie:Thank you for sharing that very intimate fact with us.
Alejandro:No, but that's what it takes to make it Instead of comics.
Shannon:If you're listening young children this is what you need to do in order to be a comic that headlines in North Carolina, asheville, north Carolina.
Ralph:Eat sushi and a banana. Well, how about we erase that terrible memory with a good one about today's recipe, shall we?
Aubrie:yes, I let me see. Okay. So today we are cooking roasted bone-in breast chicken with olive oil, lemon and rosemary. Um, this one was probably one of the simpler recipes, but it smells so good it smells so good.
Ralph:I'm so excited to be eating it right now. Oh, did you want to show what it looked like before we destroy it?
Aubrie:Yeah, so mine looks like this. I put some lemon on there. There's two lemons.
Alejandro:I already ate most of them. I got so hungry. How was it?
Aubrie:Was it good? Oh yeah.
Shannon:What was your experience making it? Are you a good cook?
Alejandro:I love throwing things in the oven and forgetting about them for a while, so this recipe lent itself to my drinks in the kitchen. I'm not so savvy on a stovetop, but I can rinse, oh nice. Oh my God.
Ralph:This is so good.
Aubrie:It's very good.
Ralph:Holy shit it's super juicy. Wow, yeah, I'm going to put. And so from the rosemary. Yeah, it's the rosemary.
Aubrie:I have some on some pieces, but I'm going to put a little sprig on here. Did you guys have a lot of juices after? I had zero juices after.
Ralph:Oh, mine's literally like gushing juice right now.
Aubrie:Mine's juicy inside, but it said spoon the juices over top. I forgot about that one.
Shannon:Maybe they went away when the oven got turned off.
Ralph:Oh yeah.
Aubrie:That might be it Evaporated. Throwback to season one.
Ralph:Yeah, this is another winner. Alejandro, what do you think? Would you cook this again?
Alejandro:Oh, yeah for sure it's simple Rosemary in small quantities. Yeah, oh, yeah, for sure it's simple Rosemary in small, you know, in small quantities. Yeah, but it's nice to revisit that's so good.
Aubrie:Yeah, I used a little Less rosemary than it called for Because, like, I only used one chicken breast, because, again, I did not know how it would turn out, what the oven situation would be. So I just wanted to kind of yeah, this is crazy good.
Ralph:The simplest recipes are usually the best Like, oh God, this is just so fucking good While we're eating. Hey, Shannon.
Shannon:Hello.
Ralph:A little dining all the recipes in the cookbook 50 Shades of Chicken come with a 50 Shades of Grey-ish story, and we don't look at the stories beforehand. I just send Shannon the story and she reads it cold on the show. So I don't know what's going to happen pun intended.
Aubrie:Yep, yes, it cold, yeah, on the show. So I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't know what's coming unintended uh, yep, yes, all right.
Shannon:uh, I just want to preface. I did not write this again. I know that ralph just said that, but I need to reiterate. I'm just reading it. Um, the title of today's story is extra virgin breasts. You're welcome already. Okay, here we go.
Shannon:Oh God, two blue eyes twinkle in the light of the of the open subzero. It's not blades, it's some other guy with an easygoing smile and a box of frozen tater tots. What do you mean? You have a ton of grub in here. He calls behind him, and I'm starving. It's not grub.
Shannon:I hear Blades scold. They're my ingredients and you can't have them. They're mine for work. The sound of his voice makes me long to see those strong hands, to feel them on my breast. How does he do that? Whatevs, bro, I'm not into your fancy stuff anyway. Hey, how about that chicken? You just throw it under the broiler. Looks tasty. No, blades says too quickly. You can take the Christmas ham, don't touch the chicken.
Shannon:Before Blades even finishes the sentence, his brother fixes his famished gaze on the rosy ham. He grins and tastes slices of a tender morsel, which seems to please the ham very much. Then he quickly slices off another chunk, plunging it into a jar of mustard before devouring it. The ham glows excitedly in a way I've rarely seen. I know what that glow means. Oh ham, she's only just met him.
Shannon:Meanwhile, blades reaches into the fridge and gently helps me out. I thrill to the unexpected touch of his hands. You'll find too much potential to be tossed under a broiler, miss Hen. Holy crap, mr Blades thinks I have potential Extra virgin. He whispers, making it sound like a forbidden nectar. I'm going to rub you with extra virgin olive oil, the best I have. Once again he turns my drumsticks into molten confit with just his voice. It's a mind-blowing skill. He lays me flat on the cutting board and drizzles me slowly with the thick golden liquid. Suddenly he stills his hands as a loud ping comes from the other side of the kitchen. It's his brother working in the microwave. What's in there? It's my side dish for the ham, bro. What is it? Blade's brother grins mischievously. Taters baby End scene.
Ralph:Another winner.
Aubrie:Yeah, I like that. His name was Blades like, and he was a bro or Blades' brother was a bro.
Shannon:No, blades' brother was the bro. I can't, I can barely say any of it. Braids' brother was the bro. Say that, I can't, I can barely say any of it. Yeah, yep.
Aubrie:There we are.
Shannon:That one was less creepy than the last one last week. Last week was intense.
Aubrie:Although this one said virgin too many times, for me it did I feel uncomfortable.
Shannon:Yep, I also. I feel increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that this is from the chicken's perspective. Yeah, that's a choice.
Alejandro:Agree, it took me a little while to put that together and as I was, you know, assembling that thought in my head, I disliked it. I disliked the realization of it and arriving at it and being there. I do like the brothers, though. I am intrigued.
Shannon:Yeah. Yeah, the brothers seemed fun. They have the most fun non-chicken characters so far. I mean the one just cooking taters I completely identify with. Also, just throwing stuff under the broiler. Yeah, I feel like that's the most relatable character we've had so far.
Aubrie:Yeah, this was like the sp-off to all of our stories, like we only had like one character in each one and they were like the person hitting on the chicken, like I don't know, and this one it just brings extra characters in. It's making me think that we should keep track of all the characters and see oh man is every story from a different, like different gentleman, caller or like I don't know what it might be, because I've never I would have remembered blades.
Shannon:Yeah, I feel like they're all. Yeah, so they're all different chicken as well. Like it's, is it one chicken and then like different men, or is it? Or ladies?
Ralph:it could be no to be devil's advocate for the cookbook I? We are jumping around okay like uh recipe wise so maybe if we, if you read them in order order okay.
Aubrie:oh, tie together, yes, okay, that makes more sense. But I kind of like the idea that this is a Marvel universe of Chicken Pursuers, like I don't know what to call them. Gentlemen, callers.
Shannon:I love food.
Aubrie:We're not going to need someone else's house, so I'm not gonna take my thought. Oh, first, well, I love the marvelous chicken universe no, it's, it's in my head like and alejandro, I don't know if you knew that this is a new york times best-selling cookbook yes, um, I didn't realize that we were doing literature here. We're doing a New York Times bestseller which, you know, we all should have known, just based on that fine piece of literature.
Ralph:Alejandro, do you have a guilty pleasure story where everybody else is like that's dumb and you're like no, I like this story or this movie or whatever it is?
Alejandro:When I was in college I looked up fan fiction for Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Aubrie:Oh yes.
Alejandro:Yeah, it was Riley and Xander and Buffy was looking on through a keyhole, yeah, so I guess that was kind of a guilty pleasure.
Aubrie:I love that. I love that. The guiltiest of pleasure. I love that. I love that.
Ralph:The guiltiest of pleasures.
Aubrie:It's all on the internet. It's all on the internet, I love it.
Shannon:Have you ever written fanfic?
Alejandro:No, no, oh, my goodness, I couldn't, I couldn't, possibly. I'm blushing, just to think about it.
Aubrie:Wait, I'll pitch for you. Is the Buffy the Vampire Slayer cookbook? It might exist, but if it doesn't involve erotica, you should definitely make a volume two that ties in a sexy Buffy story Buff the Vampire Slayer. Buff Vampire Slayers what a name for a compilation.
Ralph:Ooh, I'm already sold.
Alejandro:Yeah, all right, well pre-orders are open the door.
Aubrie:Pre-orders are open now. Alejandro's email is Alejandro at buffthevampireslayercom buffthevampireslayercom. Buffthevampireslayereduorg.
Ralph:I can't stop eating this chicken. I'm so sorry if you hear me eating in the background.
Aubrie:No, I put half of it away. I got a juicy breast. I'll just say I kind of wanted to do the bone in but I'm dog sitting. So I was like, is that wanted to do the bone in but I'm dog sitting. So I was like, is that going to add more problems to this? Like what if? The kids what if the dogs grab a bone like?
Alejandro:for my part, I have no animals in the house. I was glad to do the bone in because I rarely prepare chicken breast. It's so easy to make dry. Kept it nice and moist in because I rarely prepare chicken breast, it's so easy to make dry and keeping it kept it nice and moist.
Aubrie:Oh wow, this retained its moisture. I think it's because I broiled it in that convection oven. I don't think it would have worked in my oven. I don't think so at all. All's well that ends well, you know, because it was a thick one and I was like it would have worked in my oven. Like I don't think so at all. All's well that ends well, you know, because it was a thick one and I was like it's going to be like 70 degrees once I take it out. But luckily the handy dandy meat thermometer told me it was 273 degrees.
Ralph:Sounds weird to me. That's why I questioned before. It sounds a little overly.
Aubrie:Yeah, it might. Maybe I should have asked the owners because I might've eaten weird to me. That's why I questioned, before it sounds a little overly. Yeah, it might, maybe I should have asked, uh, the owners because I might have eaten it. I felt it and it felt very hot to the touch. So I think, like I've eaten enough chicken to like be a fair judge of it.
Alejandro:So I think, still here, still here, guys you put in your 10 000 hours of chicken yeah, yeah, well, that's, we agreed to this.
Aubrie:And then I was like, oh, we cook this right before we hop on a zoom. There are so many rules with like touching chicken, keeping the temperature at a specific temperature until you eat it, like I was like, well, here we are is that in the cookbook those rules, or that's just people who actually cook knowledge of chicken?
Aubrie:so chicken, you can get salmonella, I don't. Yeah, ralph, please, uh, elaborate um. So when ralph shares the recipes, none of them say cook until none of them have a temperature. I think they're like you dummies should know this, yeah maybe maybe not no, it doesn't really have any.
Aubrie:Before you begin I guess it's like you assume if you're buying a chicken cookbook you assume people would know. But that is like yeah, it says roast until the breasts are golden and done through and through here, but like that's pretty vague food safety is not the time for flowery prose yeah, no well, it tracks that 50 Shades of Chicken does not have explicit. Please make sure your chicken is cooked to 165 or above. Like right 165 for chicken, I think.
Ralph:Yeah, it's 165. Yeah, I will say as somebody who had got food poisoning from chicken. You would feel it immediately, because I did so. As soon as I finished eating the whatever it was, my body was like immediately starting to reject it.
Shannon:Okay, I mean it's only. This is Aubrey. Yeah, it's going to take time.
Aubrie:I'll let you know how.
Alejandro:I feel in one week.
Aubrie:If I'm vomiting in one week. Uh, this chicken was raw, I'm kidding. I looked there was like a little tiny pink spot, but I think it's where, like the you know how, there's sometimes like a little blood spot in the breast it was definitely oh sure yeah maybe not 273, like the meat thermometer told me, but I don't know.
Ralph:Feels believable honestly I think you'll be fine yeah, still here, baby um, how about some questions? Do we want to do our lightning round?
Aubrie:yeah, the famous questionnaire all right, can you survive it?
Alejandro:Yeah, I mean, my chicken was cooked all the way through, so I think I'm feeling pretty good about my chicken.
Aubrie:Good, good, the odds are ever in your favor.
Shannon:Okay, alejandro. What do you think is the sexiest food? Obviously, besides chicken.
Alejandro:Oysters. Oh yeah, Because you know it. Because you're eating oysters, Even if you're eating it with your cousin, you're like. You know oysters, they make you horny, it just knows it.
Aubrie:I love that you're eating. Yeah, when you're with like family members, you're like you know what's happening right now.
Ralph:Why does oysters like it's a sexy food, yes, but why does it look like snot and feel like snot? I don't like that.
Alejandro:Yeah, but why does it taste so good with lemon? Snot doesn't taste that good with lemon. I've tried.
Shannon:I was going to say have you tried?
Aubrie:You heard it here first. Dan Alejandro's already solved the uh, cracked the case for you. Don't try it at home. Um, yeah, I feel like you're the first guest who has said oysters. Is that true? Has anyone said it? Yeah, I feel like you're the first guest who has said oysters. Is that okay? Has that? I don't think yeah, which is crazy, because when you think sexy food, that should be at the top. I didn't. It never even occurred to me, though, like when I was thinking of once. I'm like oh, you know, paul's false.
Aubrie:That's the correct answer, Alright number two what snack would be in your sex dungeon pantry?
Alejandro:Okay, so my first thought was bad. My first thought was I want every kind of Doritos. But then I was like no, the sex dungeon. We do not want foods that are going to be getting on our fingers. We don't want Doritos dust. So I changed gears. And the sex dungeon. We do not want foods that are going to be getting on our fingers. Smart, we don't want Doritos dust. So I changed gears. And I don't want heavy foods. This is a sex dungeon. We want to keep it light. Maybe a little bit of trail mix, some carrot sticks and some ranch. Nothing too serious, Just keep it light.
Shannon:I appreciate that your trail mix has protein in it too. You just kind of feel a lot yeah. We don't want people to get tired and collapse.
Alejandro:That's not a sex.
Aubrie:You don't want bloat. You're a very thoughtful sex dungeon owner.
Alejandro:Well, I'm new to this. I really want to impress my neighbors.
Ralph:That's how you get returning customers being thoughtful like that. Good reviews.
Aubrie:Yeah, Yelp reviews are impeccable.
Ralph:I will say Devil's Advocate Ranch. I would question, just because it's a. It's a delicious condiment and goes well with carrot sticks. Absolutely, but does it go good with vinyl? You know what I mean. I'm always thinking like, because I, when I eat, I famously get everything everywhere. I'm like pig pen from peanuts, like you can tell where I ate, because there's like this halo of food around me. So I'm I'm always thinking will this stain my clothes? Was this easy to get out? So that's, that's the only thing. I think, everything else brilliant.
Alejandro:Well, we've got enough leather bibs for everybody, so don't you worry.
Aubrie:Well, I was going to say like ranch, like anything like liquidy is famously like it can be sexy, right?
Alejandro:Oh sure. So maybe we just like, we just go all the way, we just do like a wrestling tub of ranch, oh like a beach Problem solved.
Aubrie:There you go.
Ralph:Yeah, love it.
Aubrie:Damn it On the ranch.
Ralph:All right, if you could make up a sex position that doesn't exist, what would it be called and what would it involve?
Alejandro:Okay, so I thought about this a lot. Right, my body, my likes, my fantasies and the sex position that does not exist, that I would want to invent. It is me sitting comfortably on my couch and my partner brings me to orgasm. But the crucial part this is why it doesn't exist and it's not real is that this does not involve me stretching a leg. This does not involve me bending my body any kind of way. This does not involve me accommodating my position in any way to help my partner, to help me achieve orgasm. That's what makes it fictitious, because in real life, me and my partner, we talk a lot in bed and the thing that I say the most leg cramp, because I'm always catching a leg cramp and you know, I thought so much about like, how cool it would be if I could just relax and have an orgasm that I didn't think of a name for it, but something really laid back and chill.
Ralph:The lazy boy.
Aubrie:Yeah, I was going to say like a lazy, yeah Might be Lazy boy.
Ralph:Sign me up.
Aubrie:It's very realistic. Again, you're being yeah, I like it, I like it.
Shannon:I just really like how just, realistic and like relatable you are. That's really where we're at right now. I just want to give people snacks that are like going to help them out. Yeah, I want to like not have to do very much work to like achieve all the things that we want to achieve. It's the truth. Children, I just yeah, it's the children Just real, relatable and just like you should run for president. You got my vote, alejandro. I vote for you. Okay, number four what are three songs you would put on your sexy cooking playlist?
Alejandro:Hmm, okay, my sexy cooking playlist. I would put on a song by tuesday low um spelled toad low. She's a swedish pop singer yes yeah, um, I forget.
Alejandro:Oh, my gosh, I'm blanking on the name of the song, but really anything. She, all of her music, is so swedish and poppy and sexy. Yes, uh, uh, so that one would definitely be on on the list. I would say, um, uh, would also be, uh, luther van dross. Uh, never too much, because it's never too much delicious food and good company at the olive Garden, and there's also never too much, never too much loving to be had. So that's a sexy cooking playlist there. And then, third song, I think I think Disco Inferno, because it's getting hot, it's all being hot.
Ralph:All winners. Hitting all the bases, like, go the bases, like you know and Tove Lo or Tove Lo, I don't know how to say her name she did a. She did an education connection video, right is that? Am I thinking about the same person? Remember there was like back in the day, like maybe 10 years ago, maybe more, that they had the education connection. I don't, I'm not going to say it. She did one of those and please check me audience if I'm wrong I'm pretty sure that's where she got her start.
Aubrie:Oh yeah, I have no clue.
Shannon:I think Shannon's checking wait education connection connection.
Ralph:Yeah, really am I right?
Aubrie:yes, yeah, oh, that's, I'll google that. I mean, that's amazing yeah, we should link that in the show notes.
Shannon:Yeah, she made the commercial, oh my.
Aubrie:God.
Shannon:That's incredible, that's so good.
Aubrie:All right, alejandro, it's time for marry. Fuck, kill.
Alejandro:Okay, ginger snaps, cream of mushroom soup and meatloaf All right, so we are definitely going to marry the cream of mushrooms, because who does not want to wake up every morning for the rest of their life to some shit on the shingle? Come on, come on, that's for life, baby, I'll eat that every morning for life. I would say fuck is the meatloaf? Because if you get it right, I think it's going to have the consistency that you need for that use. Sure, especially if you get the panko breadcrumbs, that's going to make for a dish that yields the way that you need it to. You know it's got to have that gift.
Aubrie:Yeah, there we go.
Alejandro:And then, unfortunately, that that leaves you to to murder, uh, kill unalive the ginger snaps which I really, it's not personal yeah, it's my kitchen yeah, I think you made the right choice.
Aubrie:Ginger snaps are very hard, like they are, like it feels difficult, you know I think you have a cookbook in you about meatloaf and different. Oh my God, what is the singer meatloaf doing right now? Can you paid partnership?
Shannon:Sexy meatloaf cookbook.
Alejandro:Let me sleep on it.
Aubrie:That's what every recipe is called gold gold mom in the morning okay, before this is released, we need to copyright trademark.
Ralph:All of this because I don't want it out there all right, we're, we're, I think we're careening and quickly towards the end of the show. This one has been fun. I it's just. It's so nice to like sit and eat with friends and and talk and just have like fun dinner conversation. I love this show. This is great. So, as we, as we start to wrap everything up, alejandro, would you like to share with the audience, uh, where they can find you online, how they can see what your, when your next show is, where you're at, if you're going to be in ashville again headlining no uh, yeah, well, people can find, uh, find me on instagram.
Alejandro:That's where I'm the most active. Uh, alejandro l great on instagram, so it's like alexander the great, but it's alejandro. I'll link the upcoming shows there. I also have a podcast called we're Dating with Rachel Peters and you can find that from my Instagram as well. So we're posting episodes every other Wednesday and trying to keep that content train always rolling.
Aubrie:I love it. That's awesome.
Ralph:Are you and Rachel Peters dating?
Alejandro:Is that where the we're dating each other and we're dating each one of our guests, so it's a polycule that's growing.
Aubrie:Oh nice.
Ralph:That's exciting.
Aubrie:I love it. You've cast your net far and wide at this point, right, because you've had a few. You've had quite a few guests, right.
Alejandro:Yeah, now we have HPV.
Ralph:Who doesn't?
Aubrie:Well, what a great cross-pollination of a podcast. I feel you know this one is really getting in there, getting spreaded below, you know.
Ralph:You should have chicken on, yeah, yeah oh, yeah, you should.
Alejandro:I can't think about that golden liquid that Blade was protagonist wait.
Aubrie:Another idea Blade's golden liquid. It could be a sauce bead, you know. Bing, bing, bing. Another idea.
Alejandro:Blades, gold and liquid.
Aubrie:It could be a sauce bead, you know, bing, bing, bing, I don't know. Just saying the best and worst ideas are going to come of this. No one will purchase them. We will lose a lot of money.
Ralph:Thankfully we don't have any sponsors to keep happy, because that would not happen.
Shannon:They're all running for the door, but final final thoughts, shannon, yeah, just you know, be safe with your chicken. Yeah, just in, you know, in general, yeah, yeah, Whatever you choose to do with you know in general, yeah, yeah, whatever you choose to do with your chicken, be safe.
Aubrie:Practice Always good to practice safe chicken, you know just.
Ralph:Yeah, safe chicken is healthy chicken.
Aubrie:Better safe chicken than sorry chicken.
Ralph:All bumper sticker worthy. All right, everybody. Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode. Thank you, Alejandro, for being such a great guest. Thank you, chicken, wherever you are, and remember to always eat responsibly. Have a good night everybody.
Aubrie:Good night, thank you.
